Let's go back. Back to the beginning.

2007-10-31T20:29:00.000-07:00

Grow Fungus Grow!
Grow Mould Grow!
Invade Darkness Invade!
Invade Loneliness Invade!

Turn this land into a No-Posts land!
Transform this serenity into an air of eerieness!

I hereby DECLARE,
THIS BLOG IS FOREVER SHUT DOWN!

And I can't be bothered to spend any extra effort to delete anything or to shut down this place properly.

SO BEHOLD THE GREAT MOMENT!
B O O O O O O O O O O M!

"The end of the Masked-Window!" - Be masked forever into eternity!

2007-10-20T00:21:00.000-07:00

I have many friends, but I don't have many close friends whom I can boast of. In fact at any point of time, I can count the number of them with my two hands. Nope, its not that I don't treasure the friendships or I don't hold the friendships I have in high regards. Nope I don't, in fact I realised that its more of a self defense I have set up subconciously to prevent myself from feeling sad too often. Since I was young, whenever I thought a great relationship was going to surface, I had to part with that person and never see him/her for a long time. For example, my cousins, my aunts in Indonesia. At that moment, i was really helpless, I couldn't do anything but to see them move further away from me. Everytime on the plane back from a trip in Indonesia, I'll definitely feel that awkward and sad feeling. I remembered the few times I cried so badly in front of everyone when I was pulled away from them to board the plane back. As time passed by, I knew how naive I was. My mother often told me the same. It is impossible to stay with them all the time. Ever since my childhood, I already started building this mechanism of self defense not to get too attached to people. The few times which I accidentally got too attached to anybody, I was further proved that I shouldn't since at the end of the day I had to leave them too.

In fact, for a long long time, I haven't experienced this feeling of missing good friends and visualizing the day I would leave them. I haven't, and when I do, it spells troubles, because it means that the self defense I had carefully imposed on myself over the years have already been invaded. This time, I thought the probability of me falling into this trap I brought upon myself is really slim. I had already learnt to deal with it for years already, but I guess I was wrong this time. I already could sense this attachment forming. Especially after yesterday when Jen, Marriane, Sam and Bao threw me this pleasant surprise early birthday part, I was really quite shocked. No one has ever threw me a surprise party haha. The last time I was really elated was when my clique celebrated my birthday together with me last year. Anyway let's not digress, I was really touched by Jen and Marriane especially. I don't know how to put this in words, haha yea I am emo-ing now. Gah I really can imagine what its like without them next year. Lol even though they bully me so much but yet again these are the memories or stories I will remember and can tell to others. Gahh haha even though I haven't known them for a long time, but they have added so much more to my life, and the small little advices they gave me had actually helped me recover from the blow I suffered during common test. What I had done with them in this short while are in fact much more significant that what I had gone through with most people I had knew for years already. And they helped me realise there are more things worthy of my attention out there than games like Dota or Maplestory. Rah I will miss them, I really will, to what extent I don't know yet. Thank you Jen, Mary, Bao, etc and especially Jen and Mary for these wonderful memories.

Haha, 'Super'-dog!

2007-10-05T06:06:00.000-07:00

OMGOSH I accidentally deleted my post, which I finished already and was doing some minor editing. Grr. Due to a very bad headache, I'll shorten the post by 100Xs!

Tuesday

Last day of promos. Went to play pool and caught a movie with my classmates. The movie 'nanny diaries' was good, just suitable for watching after promos.

Wednesday

Chem spa was over this day. 2 more spas left to go! Mann, can't afford to screw them up anymore. Played soccer with the guys and went to lan at E2max after that. Dota was fun and great, but not cs. I almost puked after cs.

Thursday

Went to sing kbox with cat and company to celebrate Simin's and Cherry's birthdays. Even though my voice sucks, but I couldn't resist and started singing quite a lot. Well they didn't stop me from singing, really appreciated that 'brothers' ;D

Today

Had game fest today. Played captain's ball and even though we didn't win, but it was really fun! The last game got a bit heated up though haha! Oh well, but that team deserved to win, they were marking us well! Played dota at bytz after that, lost a game with jem and johnson. Oh well but it was fun :D Went to prepare for Zee's birthday and haha it was really retarded. And i got bullied by the touch ruggers -.- They called me their pet dog. Haha but the celebrations was fun. Learnt how to play touch rug after which, and touch rug is fun too! So is netball haha! Mann, but at the end of the day, I ended up with a bad headache. Probably due to the sun, which I was under it almost for the whole day. Whee, gna sleep now! Goodnight!

2007-09-02T01:18:00.000-07:00

I heard a question a few days ago, 'What is 'fate''? I pondered for awhile and conclude 'fate' is a belief that all the events in our life is already planned out for us by an outside agency. Many, if not most, believe that our own fate is determined by ourselves. Our lives are mould by what we do, our characters and mindsets. Nothing can refute this belief, similarly no one can refute the possibility of our fate being decided the moment we were born. To what families we were born into, how our lives will be shaped by the events that will soon haunt us, and even to the extent of the outcome of the event. Another word commonly used side by side with fate is 'destiny'. The two words are used interchangeably by many today and it is hard to distinguish the two words. Nevertheless, both words have the connotations of a predetermined fate of a person or an entity.

As mentioned earlier, it is hard to define 'fate'. No one knows whether we can control fate or whether our own fate has already been determined for us. Steering away from religious arguments, where other factors such as karma will further complicate argument, fate to many people is insignificant. They deem it as a waste of time to engage in the discussion. To them, it is pointless to since it won't serve any beneficial purpose. I beg to differ though. If 'fate' is like what many ancient people propose, that the events in our life is determined already and the outcome will be the same no matter what we do, so what is the point of us working so hard or risk so much. However if 'fate' is like what many believe, that we control and shape our own life with what we do in the course of our lives, then why are there still those who put in as much effort but couldn't achieve as much as others. With respect to the latter point, many argue that it is the work of chance. Of course, that is justified, but how different is chance from fate. They are two separate words, but it is not hard to tell the similarities. Both words refer to the luck we manifest, something which we cannot control. If this is so, isn't fate like what the ancient believe that our life is already planned from the moment we were born? And if so, what is the point of working so hard. Hence it is definitely not pointless to discuss about 'fate'.

Using examples from my own life, I will show how 'fate' plays important roles in our lives, and how the difference in the mentality towards fate will cause huge impacts in our lives. Assuming that fate is indeed predetermined already, if I were a person who believe otherwise that fate is determined by myself, I would work very hard for exams and tests. Whole year round, instead of enjoying myself, socialising with other people, I will lock myself in my room and study non stop. Of course, I will definitely get good results, unless the person were really a retard or study wrongly. These grades will roughly determine what I will be in the future and it is a gauge of my success. However if my fate is predetermined that I will suffer in the future, no matter how well my grades are, I might still face possibilities of being haunted by diseases and early death when I am near 40 or so. If that were the case, shouldn't I have enjoyed my childhood and have some great fun since I would still die near 40, instead of mugging my ass off for 20+ to 30+ years and just when I get a good job with a good position, I die. However if fate is not predetermined, I would assure myself of a good life if I study really hard when I am young and I watch my health. As shown above, 'fate' really plays a huge impact in our life.

However it is indeed hard or even impossible to tell what exactly is fate; whether fate exist in the state where it is predetermined or will be determined by ourselves. There is no scientific research or any form of studies which will justify this. Probably this is the reason why many people don't bother about fate, but this does not show that fate is not important or discussing it is pointless. In fact from the above discussion, since no one can exactly tell what fate is, it is safer to believe that we can control our fate, however we must control it properly and not spend our lives in vain. What is defined as spending our lives fruitfully is by itself another controversial discussion. Oh well, I guess I should be back to studying for my promos since I have satisfied my sudden desire for blogging already otherwise I'll definitely flunk promos for sure no matter what my fate is or what exactly fate is haha!

2007-08-09T01:02:00.000-07:00

Still waiting, still looking.

2007-07-27T07:16:00.000-07:00

It was still a nothing but a hamster to us when it first joined our small family of 4 two years ago. To date, it has already become a member of our family when it left the world. 'Nai nai' what my younger sister named it, died today. It died when all of us were around it, looking at it and praying for it. My mom and sis cried quite terribly, especially my mom who had spent a lot of time playing with it. Below is the picture of it which I took 1 hour just before it died.

The atmosphere was really quite solemn and filled with an air of sadness. I could feel it even though I rarely spent time with it. However it is a totally different case for my parents and sister. They spent a lot of time on it, playing with it. I still remember there was once when we thought we lost 'Nai nai'. My sis had played with it late at night and forgot to close its house's door. My mom discovered it gone the next day and was so totally mad at my sis. We all thought it had disappeared but it popped out three days later and my dad suddenly exclaimed in joys the moment he saw it appearing. We thought it was gone then, but now it really had left us. We just buried it awhile ago. Yea it's really very sad.

2007-07-26T08:04:00.000-07:00

4 years, they have been lying low. They allowed me to do whatever I want at my own pace, silently believing that in the end everything will be alright. I didn't prove them wrong, however that was only during the start. I changed a lot, slowly over time, and hopefully not irreversible yet. Now they are back in action, with their strict rules and high demands. A part of me tell me I should be relieve that the police are back doing their job, another part of me which have grown more noctorious over the 4 years detest the idea of the police coming back. The moment they came back into action, they implemented a few rules as appetizer. Wow, I really hope the main course won't be too good.

2007-07-13T21:04:00.001-07:00

I just realised there's this song, which is so good I'm totally hooked onto it, in my wmp which I haven't ever noticed until few days ago. 'Do you know' by Enrique Iglesius. Ping Pong balls are used to make the background beats, cool aye!

Enrique Iglesias - Do You Know lyrics

2007-07-12T06:18:00.000-07:00

For those out there who are quite disappointed with CTs, well don't get too sad anymore. CTs are over and we should look forward to the stuffs awaiting us after CTs. One thing here to keep you all looking forward to your grades, is what i call the '4 alpha word' game. Haha using the 4 grades you get from your CTs papers, try forming a word with them.

Yea I know many of us will be getting Us and yea even though that's not a very nice alphabet, but looking at the bright side, it's quite important if you want to play the word game. Firstly in order to form any words, you will need a vowel. Look here, U is a vowel! It's not the end of the world if you get U. If you get S, hey how many words out there only use vowels and not consonance, hence S is important too! For example, SUCS(sucks)! Haha! Or SUSU(milk in malay). Well for the smarty pants out there, you guys can form words like ABBA(the famous group of singers), BABA(black sheeps). Haha there are just so many permutations you can form with you grades. Isn't this fun!? Yes i know this is cheap thrill lol!

2007-07-10T05:28:00.000-07:00

Today is the last day of enrichment, and it was a great day as usual...Perhaps not the moments when I reacted on impulse, but it was really just my natural instinct to react that way. It was for pride, it was for dignity, it was out of spite.

Ah well grr Teresa and Michelle drew a lot of unfriendly stuffs on both of my hands, and no matter how i rubbed and washed, they wouldn't get off my hands. >< The drawings i made on their hands were far nicer and more artistic mann.

Had a nice long talk with Xiao Ying on the bus, why it feels great to talk to my good friend again after 1 month of missing-in-action. P.S. Yeap, he will be ok luh, don't worry so much.

I'm trying to type in proper paragraphs, but that's just not me today. So Ciao. Oh yea I sneaked out of the lt showing 'great expectation' and went to watch 'the constant garderner'. It was really sad but very good and meaningful.

2007-07-09T05:28:00.000-07:00

Finally we have come to the end of the second last day of enrichment week. Today has been quite fruitful, at least for me I think ;D We shall skip the arts education program because I only made it to school in time for me to get my card stamped=p Next I went to bowling and the only other ip ppl i know was Ernest. Actually there was Maricelle too but she was with her tennis people. So in the end, Ernest and I bowled together with Yuan Liang and Felicia. They were Ernest's og mates, haha very nice people=p I don't know what's up with me today, I was super high! XD Anyway, we learnt all the basics there, as a matter of fact, 'they' learnt all the basics there, not me. Yeap I know that I'm still not good with the basic straight balls but hello since I'm there, I must learn something new right! So I asked Felicia to show me roughly how the hook works. If you don't understand what I am talking about, there are basically 3 types of bowling techniques-straight, hook and spin. Hook is the most stylish in my opinion, and I have been trying to pick them up. So when the teacher wanted us to keep practising the statics of the basics, I tried to do the hook when he wasn't looking. It wasn't easy, because even Felicia wasn't exactly sure of how to carry out the hook. Haha, but hard work pays off, I managed to learn the hook and carry it out successfully 90% towards the end, albeit the positioning was still very off. BUT who cares, I learnt the hook mann! I learnt the hook! WHOO!

After that, Ernest and I went for lunch with Felicia and Icelle(I think it's spelt like that). Mainstream people are really quite nice and fun mann, I just don't understand why there must be this ip-mainstream separation. Ernest had to leave first because he had bodybalance, yea he needs to learn how to balance his body lol! XD So left the three of us and we had desserts before leaving. Icelle and I both ordered red ruby and it was really entertaining watching Icelle and Felicia discussing about desserts and somehow it went on to Bird's nest and a lot of other stuffs. Took train home with them and for one of the rare times, I alighted before the others do. I saw this super nice j3 senior boarding the train when I alighted. I forgot her name(Li Juan or smething><) and tried to ask her for it, but i think she misheard and thought I was asking her where she's going. People around us must have thought I am a crazy guy or something XD Went home, showered and fell into a deep slumber till dinner XD

2007-07-07T22:35:00.000-07:00

There are things that money cannot buy in this world. There are emotions that winning cannot get you too in this world. For the first time, I didn't feel disappointed or sad for losing, especially getting a position short of winning something. This was so because I knew taking part in that competition alone was already very worth it. Ii had a lot of fun, and that was something winning would not have allowed me to get.

Yeap I didn't regret one bit for taking part in the OAC adventure challenge, and must thank Sasha for asking me to join her team, replacing Justin. Our team consist of Sasha, Marianne, Aaron, and I. The race started off with a run in the rain at East Coast park. I ran a lot, and it was my first time running in such bad weather, yet it was awesome. We made a mistake there, I ran all tha way back just for one clue and wasted everyone's time at the check-point. From there, we were delayed for a long time. However, looking at it from another perspective, it was a blessing in disguise. From that point onwards, the real fun sets in.

We happened to be on the same pace with Adeline's(If I didn't get the name wrong) group consisting of Zhi kai, Darren, Adeline and Valerie. We started working together from that point onwards, specifically at Pulau Ubin. Those people were a real bunch of fun guys. Haha Adeline talks a lot, well but that's what keeps our two teams awake throughout the whole race. It definitely feels better completing the race with two teams, and not just any two teams, but in particularly Adeline's and our team. It was the right match of personalities.

As i mentioned earlier on, we went to cycle at Pulau Ubin and that was again my first time cycling there. We even stumbled upon the discovery trail which seemed quite scary because of the narrow routes and the very steep slopes. We all enjoyed cycling down the steep slopes but Marriane was careless on one of the slope and fell off her bike. I was behind her bike and it seemed quite scary. Nonetheless, that experience couldn't be explained by words.

Next we went to do abseiling at Sengkang mrt station, it was my first time abseiling from such a high floor too. When I looked down, I was really scared, and I kept asking for assurance that the carribeana was secured. After that, we went to Bishan to do vertical marathons. Gosh that was the most physically and mentally demanding of all. We climbed a total of 46 storeys and trust me, its not easy when its a race.

Time is short because I have to rush for something already so I shall keep this short and simple. After the vertical marathon, we took a bus to Adam road and from there we had to run all the way back to school. The next great part was when both our teams decided to cross the finishing line at the same time. It was really great because in this race, our both teams had fun together while trying to finish the race with both results, and most importantly, we weren't afraid of each other backstabbing us. That was the greatest part of the race. Well we planned on finishing joint 5th and combine our team names, 'touch me' and 'soccer touch' to 'soccer touch me' but because our team has more penalties so in the end Adeline's team got 5th and we got 6th. Nonetheless, whoohoo, it was simply too great.

After washing up and prize presentation, we went to curry wok to have our dinner. Val and Zhi Kai had to leave first. Haha we had so much there that we had to order a second serving of dishes! I went home, bathed and fell onto my bed and didn't wake up till 11+ earlier on. Three cheers for team 'touch me' and team 'soccer touch'.

2007-07-06T05:12:00.000-07:00

I just discovered a new found interest-ICE SKATING! Well in fact i think I have an interest in most of the sports activities. Yeap so today was when the fun start, I had ice skating session and had a wheel of my time there, probably just discount the morning when i rushed my way to school so that I won't miss the bus fetching us from school to fuji ice palace. Well when i reached school, i was informed that we were actually 1 hour earlier because the skating rink won't be opened till 9+? Gahh, make me rush for nothing lol!

So we reached there, changed into skates and waited for our chance to use the rink. Guess what, I was walking quite easily with the skates outside the rink and i thought i could balance myself inside the rink, many people thought so too=p On the contrary, once i got into the rink, I lost my balance and fell, yes i was the first casualty lol! It was my second session so it was ok I guess. However like what many say, failure is the mother of success, I picked myself up and was soon able to skate properly already XD

I didn't fall again until during the introductory lesson when we were asked to do the turn. Haha this young guy just whiz past me and I was caught by surprise and I landed on my butt. Lol it was bad! That wasn't the worst fall of the day though, the worst one was when i tried picking up speed and got so excited that i jumped into the air and landed on my knees. OUCH! My knee hurt darn badly la and I was so scared I couldn't make it for tomorrow's adventure challenge.

Well I don't think I learnt much during the lesson, but I learnt quite a bit from steph(that's how they call her by). Yeap it's Aileen's classmate, a darn pro figure skater! Whoo I didn't know Nj has hidden talents! Yeap I managed to talk to her, so I asked her for help and tips on skating. She taught me to brake properly and yeap she also taught me the steps for crossing over. Crossing over was quite hard, I kept practising but still couldn't get it at the end of the session. Well but i swear there were a few decent ones. Yeap I couldn't take the extreme pain on my feet and my legs in general anymore, that i decided to stop no matter how much I yearn to perfect the crossing over. Haha thank you steph, all the best for your competition on monday! Haha oh well, then I went for lunch with Aileen's class. A bunch of nice people who are very bonded as a class.

No one from my class went, so I was hanging around with the 04 people. Well we were all having fun until this moment when something struck us by surprise and changed everyone's mood. A few of them cried but even though I felt sad for him, it wasn't to that extreme, probably because I'm not say very close to the person. However when I put myself into his shoes, I felt scared. I seriously don't know how I would react. I was scared but I was afraid of coming up with an answer, so I continued to skate after they left because none of them were in the mood to continue. Sigh I can tell he's quite like me, strong on the outside but i bet he's soft in the inside too. This would be a big blow to his life, I seriously don't know what to do for him.

2007-07-05T05:05:00.000-07:00

Yes that is prison break! I am watching season one now because I didn't have time to watch in the past due to all the commitments I had. Now I am a little bit more free so I coop myself up in my room and watch prison break non-stop right after I reach home. 13 episodes in 2 days, how does that sound? I think if this continue, I can forget about getting into OCS or getting into a uni and a faculty of my choice. Thankfully I noticed that I have been super duper slack over the past one month or so that if i don't correct my lifestyle, i am going to become a...

couch potato.

Well so yea I did what I should and went for a run. A little bit over ambitious of myself, I planned to run about 5 laps? In the end I was all panting only at the 3rd lap. Gosh usually I can do it properly till the end of 5 laps. Now this seriously show how bad my fitness has become ever since all the fats started to crawl and feed on my muscles. Oh yea my knee hurts a lot after the run. Sigh, my fitness is simply crap. Ah well time to start the machine again XD

2007-07-02T06:42:00.000-07:00

Just came back from Adriel's birthday party and gosh my head is still spinning from that little vodka which Adriel made everyone drink. If you don't know how strong vodka is, that was 50% alcoholic! My whole head is spinning now, slightly though. We shouted a very long yum seng and since i have never tasted real alcoholic drinks before, I thought I could finish it up in one mouthful. Apparantly, 50% vodka is no joke and I had to spit half of the content out before finishing it again. It made my mouth, chest, head, throat, etc so hot that I was totally stunned.

Anyw yea I enjoyed myself today. Haha it was kind of the cat high reunion for them, I was the a little bit odd one out. Sigh, it was something i missed out when i left cat high for njip. I doubt there is any other way other than staying in cat high for 4 years where one can find such brotherly love. We sung the cat high school anthem after Adriel blew the candles and i could totally feel the cat high spirit in the air. Yes even though I was only there for 2 years, but I still had great memories of those 2 years I spent in cat high.

Haha I spent quite a long while at his party playing dota. Played a total of two games and like usual I was panicking throughout the game. I think i got better alr :D And yea dota is seriously fun! All the guys there, almost all are dota enthusiasts luh lol! I will be, one fine day=p

Will upload the group photo after Adriel sent me XD Happy birthday Adriel and for the one last few times, before I feel more guilty of what i have done 2 years ago...公教！突飞猛进！

2007-07-01T20:27:00.000-07:00

Rui Shan's party at Siloso beach was really great. I think I am really blessed to know all these people. In fact not just them, but everyone around me. Without all my friends, I really don't know how life will be. True, even with all my friends, there are still times i would feel lonely and such but with them around, those moments have become really rare. Anyw haha i just learnt how to upload pictures onto my blog, just yesterday, by myself ok! :D So from now on, I'll learn to take pictures and keep these memories and share with everybody. Oh yea did I say I want to learn how to take photographs properly? There are so much stuffs in life that I want to do luh!

Anyw this is the group photo we took at vivo after dinner. From the left, Ernest(Bestie!), Yi He, Michelle('Bestie'! =p), Teresa, Rachel, Lucille, Restus(or Resmus :/), Rui Shan, Resmus(or Restus =p), Reynard and me. Adele left in the evening and Grace(My bridge partner who always causes me to lose , jk=p) left at night before this, but nonetheless thank you all of you for the great memories!

Haha this is the birthday girl buried in the sand! XD

2007-06-28T03:37:00.000-07:00

COMMON TEST is over! You heard me? Yea it's over and the moment it ended, I felt as if a mountain has just been lifted off my shoulder. Yea so I went to play pool right after it ended and my I must admit I am getting better at it, especially at breaking the balls. Learnt some tricks from the newspaper that's why =p

Anyway I was so depressed I didn't study much for bio, so I fiddled around with my phone and came up with this!

Guess who!?

Ta dah...

And I wasn't the only one with my face painted! Cat was too hoho!

I miss the great days of OM! Bleh!

2007-06-26T19:42:00.000-07:00

Ah yes I'm feeling much better a wholesome night of sleep. Nonetheless I have to thank my parents for being understanding this time round, and well even though they made me feel worse while consoling me. Oh yea to Jia Hui and Hong Jie in particularly who took time off their busy mugging session to cheer me up. Yea to Elizabeth my past year's peer tutor who still keep approaching me and offering her help. Bleh I've let you down this time round.

Ah well it's a bright new day and many other things are there waiting for me to finish them. Haha, I guess I was super silly to react that way then, but considering that even the great falter at times, what more me, a mere student. XD

edit*- I forgot to thank all the others who tried cheering me too like Luisa, liz, etc. I think I scared everyone around me especially my family =/ And to my sis who bought me two pieces of cakes, it feels weird but thanks. And sorry I only said a thanks because it just feels so weird =/ And i hope U don't lurk around here too like Hong jie! Jk XD

2007-06-26T03:41:00.000-07:00

Overconfidence, overestimation of myself, and due to these I ended up cutting myself with my own sword which has no doubt grew too long and dangerous for my own good. I can blame it on a hell lot of factors, but I know that no excuses can ever refute this unassailable truth-I suck.

I have never felt so vulnerable before, my self esteem and confidence have never fallen so low. What was the problem here, I couldn't figure out. Probably the only thing that make sense is I am too lousy and too slow to even attempt to catch up with the cheetahs.

Times have changed, and I have always been shrouded by delusions which are woven by myself. No matter how hard I try to cover up my disappointment by acting like a kid, deep down I stil feel like shit. I feel that I am really shit. Because this time round, I tried but failed and I have no excuses or reasons to cover up for that failure.

This time I am defeated, by my ownself. Laugh at me. Jeer at me. Call me a loser who can't face up to my own failures. I don't care, because that is probably what I would do to myself too.

2007-06-21T05:08:00.000-07:00

Somehow it feels like deja vu, that i have written such a post before.

Many reflections, many thoughts, many acquaintances, but how many know exactly how i feel. So i received comments that i know a lot of people and 'have a wide social network', quoted from Jason in particularly, but this is no doubt nothing to be envious of. Acquaintances can easily be bought; good and understanding friends do not even have a price tag because they are priceless. I do have many friends, but truth is many aren't my close friends. However I still rejoice because at least I have that few good friends, albeit little, to be around me when I need them.

This period of time is another example when they stood by my side, helping me out and listening to my woes. No doubt they can be down at times too, but the fact is when I am down, they are there. Because of them, it feels as if I have just been freed from a metal chain instead of being cut from my lifeline. I shall keep this short and thank them here. Thanks!

2007-06-18T09:09:00.000-07:00

Gahh I didn't publish the post. Shit i just wasted like 20 minutes typing that out for nothing. Great ok basically it was about how great Jeremy's stayover part was and how hooked i am to Dota now. I am lazy and i was too, so I shan't elaborate what happened.

Anyw I think i'm screwed. For everything. The horoscope book i chanced upon in the bookstore, didn't really work. Oh well, one reason why I don't invest in these kinda books. They are book-lickers.

2007-06-18T04:58:00.000-07:00

T'was a great stayover party at jem's house. So great I won't include what exactly happened because I am lazy yet there are simply so much great stuffs to blog about if i were to include them. Basically I got really hooked onto Dota and the next morning i had this Tsunami-like headache of richter scale 7.0 which was amazingly easily neutralised by 'Tim-Tam' the chocolate biscuits. I bought a lot of notes to study, but as expected didn't even take anything out of my bag. Hm afterwhich, I went to Kap with ernest and xuan dao to try mugging. Not very productive. Studied for one hour and went home to sleep haha.

Yawns I think imma gnna have an early night tonight. Shall sleep at hmm 9. Because of this part also, my schedule of preparation for CTs is kinda screwed. Imma lagging behind like shit. S.H.I.T.

2007-06-15T02:25:00.000-07:00

Piles and piles of notes and tutorials everywhere. Seriously, I'm getting quite fed up! Argh I need to get out, I need to play, have fun and chat my heart out. But I can't and today I just couldn't concentrate again. This time is because I am really tired. I am tired get it. Perhaps I should chill out just before common test. I go online and almost everyone is mugging. I know I should, but sometimes trying too hard will yield undesirable results too. Well, I slept the whole day today, haha and right now I feel quite refresh! A whole new me! Whoo, and thanks to those who are willing to spare some time for me even at this time. Whee! Today shall be my chillout day!

2007-06-11T04:52:00.001-07:00

Hearing those who went to yltc 07 chat about their experiences, I vividly recalled my yltc experience in 2005. Then it was really a bonding camp and nothing short of the word 'fun'. The great friends I made there, I still remember, especially SHAWN! Haha! I kind off lost contact with him already, he seemed to have vanished into thin air, probably after feeling guilty of not doing a good job as house capt. Haha but nonetheless, shawn you are teh best captain(male one) I say i ever have! Haha Sasha's my best captain(female one), so don't feel insulted k!

KAYA, PEANUT BUTTER, JAM! Haha those conversations with Shawn during the camp was probably the best memories I took back from the camp. To some extent, quite sad that those conversations were the best memories right. Haha, but still i can remember what those terms refer to! Hmm let see, actually I only remember one. KAYA! XD Haha those great days I can't forget.

I feel old, having stayed in nj for 2 years alr, third year currently. For two years, I've been saying bye to seniors who have nevertheless forged great friendships with me already. 2 years already, I can't wait for the day I graduate from the school to come. 2 years already, I can't wait for the day for me to finally do all the crazy stuffs to come. 2 years already, I can't wait for the day for me to finally go out and play from day to night without having any worries to come. 2 years already, I still have to wait 2 years. ><

Ok it was the sudden impulse that led me to come here to post. I better get back to doing my stuffs. Softball camp for the next two days, I looked at the schedule and i was quite shocked, but glad that it doesn't look tough=p Camps should be fun, to let us bond with the people more, like YLTC 2005! Whoo!

2007-06-09T09:33:00.000-07:00

Good job Wilbert, you were so bored that you deleted the cookies when you chanced upon the options without knowing that all your passwords and usernames saved in the world wide web will be deleted too. Great job! I lost all my passwords and can't remember most of them. Along with the passwords and usernames, that glimmer of hope i still try to keep was consumed by the darkness surrounding it too. I guess everything is over, beneath all the rough waves, perhaps it's a blessing in disguise afterall. I guess there's really nothing holding me back already. Today shall be the last day I'll post until after my common test. I lost everything that give me a reason to come online haha! Yea one major player lost is the neopets site and the anime site. I am just too lazy to try to get back those passwords.

On a happier note, i finally caught the third sequel to the pirates trilogy. This time I watched with my dad! Yeap it was good no doubt it got quite confusing at some point. The visual effects were really good. Gahh I'm so tired now. The amount of sleep that I stocked up on the other day was all used up now. Goodnight!

Btw lazy to reply tags as of now and since i'm not gonna come here anymore so till july!

2007-06-08T20:36:00.000-07:00

Gahh almost one whole day of sleep really resuscitate me! I'm feeling quite refreshed now :D Anyw gahh I think these will be the last few posts that I will post in these two days before I self-confiscate my lappy. I have been doing too much stuffs which I shouldn't be! LIKE WATCHING ANIMES! Mann, I'm an anime craze. Imagine life without animes...Well nothing much will happen actually, I'll prolly turn to other sources of entertainment.

Anyw let me quote Zhi rong's famous phrase, "mug le lah"! Yea it sure is time to start mugging, especially since my relatives are all coming over the last week of june hols. Gahh, to my dear lappy, this will be the last few moments we are gna share tgt until after common test! Animes... ):

2007-06-08T03:20:00.000-07:00

Teresa's party was seriously no doubt the best birthday party I have ever attended. All the people there were really funky people, most of whom were in Cj and Sa for the first three months. I really didn't regret going over there, but on the contrary, regretted having to leave early with Ernest >< Oh well, I made Ernest stay overnight with me at the chalet, so in return i agreed to leave early with him because he needed to make a trip to NTU. Yawns! I acheived a personal feat this time round-I slept at about 5+am? Usually I would have just conked out at around 2+am at the maximum.

Anyway, after econs consolidation, Ernest and I rushed to the costa sands resort. It was quite a last minute decision that we decided to go and stay overnight, so we only went to search for presents in the afternoon when we went to have lunch. Well, we saw a teddy bear which could record sounds, and at that time, that was our best option :/ Gahh after Wei liang told us he bought her a handbag, we seriously felt bad..

Oh so when we reached there, they were bbq-ing, and since we are really lazy tards. Ernest and I sneaked into the room to play cards with Michelle. After awhile then did we go down to enjoy the great food ^^

Hmm, the period after dinner was probably the highlight of the stayover. Initially I wanted to just stay in the room to sleep while the others wanted to take a walk to the beach/rollerblade. Frankly I was so tired I really wanted to sleep, but then I felt bad for being so anti-social, which i have been ever since the moment i reached there. In the end, I tagged along and I was really glad I did. So we walked to the beach and it was quite eerie at the start. Gahh I'll skip all the specific details to the part where we sat at the breakwater to enjoy the starry night and the seaview. The weather was good, and there were really a lot of stars in the sky. We sat there and chatted and played some songs and I really enjoyed that moment. So much thoughts just surfaced and it was a great moment for reflection, and feel emo XD We walked back at 1+am because the gate will close at 2am. On the way back, I started conversing and joking with some of them, most whom i didn't really talk to initially. Hm, call me a shy boy and a man of few words XD Haha, they are really interesting people.

Anyw yea I'm lazy to include everything but I seriously enjoyed this night. That was seriously what i needed to relieve myself from the stress of schoolwork and the competition in school. I seriously can't stand that intense competition. Bleh. So many people are doing so many things to decorate their portfolio. I confess that there was a short period of time when i was doing that too, making many stupid decisions. Thank goodness I turned back in time and do whatever because I like doing. I am only concerned about my As now, not decorating portfolio anymore>< But rest assured whatever commitments I have agreed to take up, I will be responsible for it till the end.

2007-06-06T05:51:00.000-07:00

The past few days have been quite terrible. I couldn't concentrate on my work, I just kept thinking and thinking of the many reasons and possibilities that might happen. As such, I am really behind schedule with regards to my preparations for common test. Sigh Wilbert arh, always get yourself into trouble. Anyw perhaps today was a little bit better, after talking to ashwyn, teresa and ernest. Frankly, I miss the feeling and yearn to have more, but at the same time I'm scared to pursue it. I didn't intended to at the start, really. I didn't even think I would ever think of that possibility. However the past few weeks and months just changed my perception. It really is hard, having to try very hard to guess what the other side thinks.

Anyw tomorrow is gna be a hectic day. 5 more topics of econs to finish by tmr 5pm before my consultation with Ms Wong. After which, Woohoo I'll rush to Downtown East with Ernest to indulge in some fun and make myself not think so much. No please don't get my wrong, we are gng there to attend teresa's party haha!

2007-06-03T07:38:00.000-07:00

Omgosh i so need to share this with everyone! However mean i am, but this is really so funny that it made my day. Ok so after having dinner with my family at soup garden(ew i so hate ginger) at AMK hub, we took a walk inside fairprice. Guess what i saw? This quite fat woman using the (I-dno-what-its-called-so-i-shall-name-it...) shake-a-lot slimming machine. And gose, it seems like the woman is experiencing an earthquake of richter scale 7.0 lol XD Ok ok i'm really mean i know, but hey I was quite down and emo for the past few days and this totally liven me up! :D Thank you very much to the I-don't-know-your-name lady!

Anyw yeap, i have straightened my thoughts--I am not going to be the character whose fate is going to be decided by anyone but myself. XD

Oh! And my dad decided to try the maching too, and ohmygosh, he shook like he's experiencing a tsunami haha! No he's not fat tho.

The end to the slump of my june holidays, that so caused me not to be able to concentrate! Tata ><

2007-06-03T00:32:00.000-07:00

Frankly i don't know what to do. I am lost. Grr, my instinct and intuition tells me i should drop the idea, but this source of power just led me to do the opposite. I hate it, i hate this kind of feeling.

Anyw 4 topics down and i reach a very terrible roadblock, one that is so hard to clear. Roars.

2007-06-01T01:51:00.000-07:00

Yosh another rainy day, which i always prefer over super hot sunny days, except when I'm training of course. Anyw I managed to finish functions today, albeit there were so much distractions in the library. *hints ><*

As usual, finding someone to eat lunch with was a problem in the holidays. I almost had to eat lunch myself, fortunately i met shu fang and crystal just outside school walking to the poolside restaurant. And lunch was good ^^ Mann i realised how i hate to be alone, especially when it comes to having meals. Not just applicable to eating, but even normally when i go out and such. My mom was just suggesting why can't i watch a movie alone, and i gave her the *hello?* face XD

After which i went back to the library to try to do my work. 3 questions of graphing and i felt really sleepy after the heavy lunch (2 plates of fried rice with chicken cutlet), so i went to the rocking chair area to take a nap. I slept and slept and when i woke up, 1 hour has already passed. I was so drowsy i decided to just come home. Shall mug again at night. Haiz, mugging alone is so boring too. Mugging partner ernest had to have some attachment things. Grr.

Anyone who hasn't watched pirates who is willing to watch with me before it closes? Hurry tell me!

2007-05-31T08:50:00.000-07:00

Gahh 2/36 done and only about 20 days more with more difficult and extensive topics coming up.

It was such an exciting and fun yet nerve-wrecking day. Gahh anyway, my mom is making me feel darn bad now >< Thanks for this day and sry too for various reasons!

2007-05-29T06:18:00.000-07:00

Nothing is going smoothly as planned. Darn. I hate this part of life. Everything is so screwed up. Argh, I need someone there mann but grr no one is there. Bleh.

2007-05-24T06:06:00.000-07:00

This surge of energy, I hope it will last till the end.
Wish me luck now, that i don't screw up or falter when i shouldn't.
The fear in my eyes, limiting my capabilities.
Yet the fact that i am still standing, simply means there's still hope.
The end is not decided yet, and my play has not finished.

Gambatte doode! XD

2007-05-23T01:09:00.000-07:00

The last project is finally finished and the last big burden is finally lifted off. With that, i have no more other excuses worthy enough for me to slack and procrastinate my work. One month, one chance and one last time, I'm gonna start and just put everything aside. I had enough fun and joy, now is the time to get serious. I don't know how many days or hopefully weeks i can last, but i'll definitely stay focus babaye. Before that, let me indulge in one last great afternoon nap =p

A new day, a new month, a new start.
Along with this afternoon nap,
comes a new attitude.

;D Naramie mellon nin! (A new phrase i recently learnt which means goodbye my friends!)

2007-05-17T01:33:00.000-07:00

Finally the long awaited june holidays is nearing. I really can't wait for it to start. Lessons have been such a tremendous torture when I had to attend lessons without knowing what is going on because i have missed so much lectures and tutorials during the individual sports' seasons. I have this temptation to just skip lessons and do my own self study. Frankly i think that works better for me, but I couldn't go against my conscience to pon classes.

Sports day was a blast. Totally unbelievable. The day started out badly though. One race changed it all. Let's skip all the other unfortunate events in the morning. At the start of sports day, I was notified that three out of four runners couldn't run for the inter-cca race. Darn, and they didn't inform me until i approached them. 'Darn', I thought. Subsequently, I spent the next two hours trying to find people to run for softball. Everything seems so bleak, I really thought we couldn't run anymore. I wanted to just give up at that time. Yet everytime i do, my legs sent my brain a message that to tell it that they want to run. I seek the thrill and the challenge that many hate. There was a point when softball was already substituted by chinese dance. I told Jia Hui to give me more time, and in the end, at the very last minute Softball managed to send in a team in consisting of mervyn, Wei Liang, Jeremy and myself.

The race started and I was already quite exhausted from all the commotions i had to go through before that. It was the worst preparation i have ever made for a race next to the 800m race last year. I had a sore throat and a blocked nose. We came so far to run, I really wanted to get something out of it. Jeremy was first runner, followed by Mervyn and Wei Liang. I am glad they really tried hard. I could see it in them, especially in the last two hundred metres. However the other teams are just physically fitter so when Wei Liang passed me the baton, we were in 6th place. At that time, I didn't even bother taking note of which position we are at already. I took the baton and just ran. Everybody seemed so far in front of me. After my first hundred metres, I could feel my hands turning cold and getting numb. I was scared. Yet I knew i must not give up, after going through so much troubles...

The next part was the greatest. For the next three hundred metres, I didn't feel anything at all. There was nothing going on in my mind. Nothing like the usual "harder, faster, harder" I always murmur to myself during a race. In my vision, there was only the person in front of me and my legs knew what they had to do intuitively- to overtake everyone i see. I just ran and ran, the feeling was great. During the last hundred metres, I manage to spot just another runner in front of me. I didn't think it was impossible, I knew there was a chance. I just whacked, the feeling was great. No pain, just the wind going against me. It was so tight but I did it. That was my greatest race ever. I felt great during the race and after the race, there was no regrets at all.

I was trying to catch my breath when Jeremy told me we got second. I couldn't believe it. I didn't even know our position during the race. I only know i had to overtake as many as i could. Phew, it felt great.

I don't know how to describe that feeling i experienced, however there is no doubt I want to experience it again.

2007-05-13T09:03:00.000-07:00

A full stop and it starts with a capital letter on a new line again.

2007-05-03T01:28:00.000-07:00

It is a wake up call. Better now than later. I flunk chem test which is 10 percent of the whole year's grade. Darn now i really have to start studying already.

2007-05-02T05:16:00.000-07:00

We won, however it was a bad win. They lost, however they had a good lost. Perhaps you wouldn't understand what i am saying. No in fact you won't, unless you have a mindset similar to mine. Blatantly put, we won but we didn't play up to standard, in fact we played very badly. They played their best but unfortunately they lost. Even when the winning run came in, it wasn't spectacular at all. I recalled the Vj-Hc game during SRC, both teams played well and held each other. That winning run was based largely on skills and simply awed all the spectators. I was totally amazed by the two teams and i would never forget that game.

Personally, i confessed i almost broke down mentally during the game. Today wasn't my day. I was really under immense pressure during the last three innings. I feel as though i will crack any moment. To make things worse, by the 4th inning, my left shoulder was hurting quite badly. I was so tense and worried. Blame it on my inability to control my feelings. When it come to hitting, I couldn't even hit even though the pitches are so slow. It just wasn't me. In the end, i ended up with a headache-the first time i ever develop one during a game.

On the brighter side, thankfully we won. We were hungry for a win, too hungry in fact. Yea and we made a lot of noises, but a bit too much that it just made my headache worse in the second last inning. Oh well, another different experience. I hope that when we play Vj, we will win/lose with pride.

2007-04-19T06:33:00.000-07:00

I'm sick. Very. Well it's darn well about time i guess. After all the long and tedious trainings, my body finally gave in after my race. At least i managed to finish OM and my race and some softball games with ok results. In fact i'm quite glad that i have endured till this point. It's good enough. Right now, all i want is the long rest i have been yearning for. Rest, my body, rest.

2007-04-05T05:37:00.000-07:00

That last set almost grabbed my soul out of me. I tried but i really couldn't finish that last set within the targeted time. My lungs just refused to take in as much oxygen as before. However, positively, I know i had tried my best. That last 150 metres or so, i really gave almost everything i had. I understand that not being able to finish the sets given was not something i should be happy about. In fact i was very sad after that. I know i have disappointed a lot of people. I have to strive a lot harder to be able to give the other guys some hope of getting something. However, while reflecting on the bus, I realised it was not something bad actually. I had never push myself enough to give all out, or at least this close for a very long time alr, nor have i even ever come so close before. Alas, at least now i know where my max is and i can improve to overtake this point. After doing core, i drank 2 bottles of sportade(600 ml each), one large milo and about 500ml of plain water. Yes i was that thirsty! It is hard and challenging to run, to push, to lose, etc. Yet the process is more valuable than anything. Last but not least, thank you to all who cheered me on during this training session. You all didn't have to, but you all did. Thanks!

I tried to search for this really great poem regarding runner's high which i chanced upon a few days ago accidentally but to no avail. However i managed to come across a poem by Catherine Elaine which is equally good and meaningful, albeit a little long tho.

Runner
Crazy, they call you.
You who piss yourself on the trail,
barrel out into the sleeting rain,
and push until you can no longer stand.
All of this in the name of
achieving the impossible—
of beating your
self.

You buy tee-shirts that
proudly proclaim:
‘Our sport is your sport’s punishment.’

You revel in its solitary nature
and in the insanity.
You who butter blistered toes
with vaseline.
You who expel your spit in front of
screaming parents
(the sole fans) .
You who choke back bile,
and hurl into the chute,
preparing only to do it again
and again.

Crazy.
Perhaps.
Perhaps a definite
'yes.'

But it is you who know
the steady beat
of your feet underneath.
It is you who see the streaks of grace
in the misty morning sky,
faint colors leading you like flags.
It is you who feel the sharp sensation of air
slicing through lungs.
It is you who realize:
This is for one thing
and one thing only—
the flight
itself.

Catherine Elaine

2007-04-04T07:20:00.000-07:00

Sigh. I am tired of everything. So tired i have nothing to say.

2007-04-03T04:03:00.000-07:00

Now i realised how much i yearn to study. Yes I want to study and do my homework and all that but i can't. I really can't. I happened to read Joanne's blog on sunday. I've always been indifferent towards most things she say because she is so pessimistic and i don't exactly like to talk much to too negative people. However for once, i realise how foolish i was to think i can handle this much commitments in a bid to prove myself to the others. I thought i am Superman, but no i'm not. Track, softball, and Om. Just recently I had no choice but to withdraw from citibank youth-for-causes project. Trainings on almost everyday of the week, draining all my energy away. In order to stay alive, I have to sleep early and eat a lot. My attention span is really short and I always fall asleep during lectures. I just realise the seriousness of the quagmire i am in now. I miss spending the one hour trying to solve maths questions. Really, I realise how much fun it is when I finally solve them. I miss mugging for bio and getting the grades i want. I want teachers to have good impressions of me. I miss all the great times. Believe it or not, I really do, albeit i always procrastinate and complaine of schoolwork and homework. Sigh please be over soon may.

2007-03-31T03:13:00.000-07:00

The way i handle it was really bad i realise. Perhaps i shouldn't have done anything at all. I knew I wasn't ready. I know no amount of apologies will help. Please don't think I am trying to avoid you. I just don't know how to face you. I don't dare to. If you are reading this, please know i still treat you as a friend, in fact a good friend if possible.

2007-03-30T06:37:00.000-07:00

Finally the season of the year is here again. Finally, all the hard work we have put in for a year are going to be put into test. Though there were lots of disruptions and commotions in between, nobody really cares about them now. Throughout this one year period, i'm sure everyone has improved. No one wants to lose, yet someone has to lose. Everyone wants it, yet someone definitely wants it more than the other one. I really don't know what the outcome will be like, but personally i'll definitely give my best. I have trained hard for this day to come. So much sacrifices made for that one silverware. Even though it might just be a medal, it is the pride of a sportsman which i am fighting for. No, i won't give it up so easily! Watch out all of u others! ^^ If any of u, my team-mates are reading this, yea let's psyche ourselves up for the games mann! We want it, and we want it badly!

2007-03-17T10:28:00.000-07:00

Damn it i can't sleep. It's 1.28am for your information. To be exact, i just woke up. I don't know but i really can't sleep. There are so many things running in my mind now, of which a large extent is related to softball. Simply put, we won both our games today. The first one was ok but the second was really a bad win. I don't know about the others, but i suppose i really deserve those scoldings. Sigh baserunning, something i always thought is not a hard thing. Yet today, i was simply so blur. Come to think of it, i have always been blur when it comes to baserunning. Bleh. I really don't know if the two wins today are blessings or curses. Because of these two wins, we have a chance at 4th. Hence tomorrow's last game against HC is really really important. It's literally something or nothing. I feel the pressure. I know i should be resting now. I understand i should relax and calm down. I can't. I just hope that i don't err tomorrow.

2007-03-13T07:09:00.000-07:00

So I decided to blog again. Being a paranoid kid, i suspect that blogging has some negative effects on my life. I meant, everytime i blog, something unfortunate will happen to me in my life. I know it's so unrelated, but that's how i feel :X However I can't be bothered anymore, perhaps i can use this instance to prove myself wrong.

Anyw i really don't know what to blog nowadays. I see no point in sharing things that upset me or things that cheer me up with everyone anymore. Haha in fact the virtual world has lost its charms on me already. Perhaps not totally, but compared to the past, i'm relatively much more indifferent about it nowadays.

Really, I don't know what to blog. If you want to know more, come talk to me instead. I prefer sharing my thoughts via chatting instead of blogging (: Oh yes but the tagboard is still functional.

2007-02-19T17:56:00.000-08:00

I realise nothing is more relaxing than lying down beside the pool at night, looking at the night sky and the shining stars. Suddenly all the information taught to us during astrology in term 1 starts to flood into my mind. Frankly I can't remember anything more than The Orion stars. At this point of time, i started reflecting on my life again, looking back at all the past incidents worthy enough for me to lament at. Somehow, the extent of regrets in life cannot be easily enumerated. I have accepted that as a fact.

Haha if you find the above hard to understand or too abstract, don't bother, because I don't have a clear idea of what i am trying to say anyw. However if you prefer to take it seriously, go ahead. Maybe I was possessed and that one paragraph was trying to tell something regarding the future of mankind, especially with all the HooHah caused by global warming now. Or should i say, by human, ourselves. The issue on global warming has me baffled up too. I really don't know which side to support now. Not supporting any side will project me as a nonchalent person. Yet the arguments for both sides can be controversial. Sigh perhaps i shouldn't worry so much, and start doing my pile of holiday homework instead X.X

2007-02-09T18:41:00.000-08:00

To all out there who were disappointed with their Os, please cheer up and get back up again. Os is just a small setback and the real challenge lies ahead. I know that everyone has their own expectations, and how so terrible when one doesn't meet one's expectations when one work so very hard for it. Yet we must understand that such is the cruelty of life. Life is full of uncertainties and sometimes we just slipped at the most important moment. I probably won't understand how you all are feeling at this time now, but trust me, i have experienced my own setbacks in academics before. And I really think that once one get over it, one will start wondering why one actually wasted that much time fretting over it.

As for myself, I am glad I didn't let my parents, my teachers and friends and most importantly myself down. I can still remember those days when I put in so much effort, with no guarantee that everything will translate to what i want. However the moment when i see the one word on the piece of paper, that split second was really worth all the time and effort i have put in. No please don't misunderstand me, I'm not trying to rub salt into those who didn't meet their expectations. But i am really elated to get that grade.

2007-02-06T04:41:00.000-08:00

Ahh the amount of homework is suffocating me alive! I think maybe it's not a good idea to join chess. However i'll probably go down this friday cos i promised mr cheng to.

Haiz i'm trying hard to change, to get rid of all the old habits and trying to change my attitude and mindset. Sometimes i don't know if i'm not trying hard enough or perhaps i'm trying too hard. Pls forgive me if i offend anyone in anyway and feel free to come and tell me about it. In fact I'll appreciate it (:

2007-02-05T06:39:00.000-08:00

Yay i broke my PB for 2.4. I never thought this day would come, and surprisingly my new timing is 9:25, 21 seconds better than my previous PB. Well there were people doing better than me, sad thing to note, which means competition for road run! Haha i do admit that there are a lot of good J1s this year. Oh mann!

Don't feel like blogging. It's so tiring today. XD Gdnight!

2007-02-03T02:12:00.000-08:00

Training on thursday was so tiring. Especially for my lower body. However i am really glad that i manage to endure till the last, that is afterall the challenge in sports. Sports train your mindset and in order to win, you must first have the right positive mindset. I won't say i have achieved that, but i'll definitely strive to do my best and apply that mindset in other areas such as academics.

School is fun(: I enjoy every single moment in school, even at those moments when i am so stressed or so beat. Those are the moments that make up the empty holes in life. Without those tedious moments, what is life and how will we be able to treasure the great moments in life?

The O lvls results will be coming out soon. Somehow i feel scared but on the other hand, what is there to be scared of? Like Hong Jie said, I will only be receiving a paper with one grade while they will be receiving a paper which represent a big turning point of their life. Good luck to all out there who will be receiving Os results next week, regardless whether you are j1s or Ips (: It's really sad to note that some of my newfound friends are going to leave nj.

2007-01-27T01:24:00.000-08:00

Geez i'm obsessed with the song i added onto my blog. Not very sure of the title or the artist. If anyone happens to know, please tell me so i can search for the lyrics (:

2007-01-26T00:12:00.000-08:00

The homework pile is burying me alive. I didn't do work for only 3 days and the workload has piled up to so much. Tsk.

Sigh. Perhaps it was never meant to be :(

2007-01-23T02:50:00.000-08:00

I hate it. Get away from me. :(

2007-01-20T04:58:00.000-08:00

Argh, it has been only the first week and already i felt as if i am already being buried under the incessant amount of homework, coupled with a few other factors such as training. Frankly, i have put in so much more effort and time into doing my homework, but my homework load still seems to remain the same as last year when i hardly do my work. Clearly it shows that the school has imcreased the amount of workload for J1s by a lot as compared to Ip1/2.

Speaking of j1s, i was really shocked by how hardworking most of them are. The moment i first stepped into the school library this year, i was gobsmacked by the number of them doing work in the library. So many of them that i could hardly find a seat for myself. For the first time, the library was 'painted' by a mixture of vibrant colours, not just grey, but a lot of blues, whites, etc. In case you don't understand what i am referring to, it is the colours of the uniforms of those new j1s.

Haiz, that further motivates me to study hard in order to catch up with the new batch of J1s. I could still clearly remember the period of time when i sunk into a palpable mood of pessimism. I was assailed by pangs of guilt and regrets because i didn't put in enough effort in my academics. Fortunately, things are looking better now and i am glad that i recognise how important studies and grades are before it was too late. Yay.

To end this post, i shall present a cheer for all of you who read my blog. M is for mugger. M-u-double g-e-r. M is for mugger. M-u-double g-e-r. So ppl ppl shout it out. Mugger mugger. Mugger mugger...Oops can't remember the rest of the cheer. Haha. Tata!

2007-01-05T22:19:00.000-08:00

Orientation hasn't been up to my expectation. Nonetheless, i am trying to keep a positive mindset and try to enjoy it as much as i could. Hopefully next week's sessions would really be as good as what the Ogls promised.

School has started and the new term welcomed me with a roughly 3 cm cut on my face. It isn't a deep cut but still i really hope the scar will go away soon. Otherwise i would have another nickname for myself, Willy Potter.

However what i fear most currently is not regarding the scar, rather my future. If only i could travel back to the past, I promise I would have told myself to study hard and to have a more positive attitude towards my academics. It was really foolish and naive of me to think that everything would be alright if i start working hard in Ip3. Now I have to enjoy my just desserts for being nonchalant towards studies in the past. To sit in the talks regarding scholarships and hearing the speaker giving a speech on the criterias, knowing that i don't even stand a chance with my past 2 years' gpas. There's a saying that say 'better late than never', something i use to console myself with. As to whether it is true, i do not know. However i suppose i have no other choice, but to continue to live in my regrets and start mugging now.

2006-12-23T06:14:00.000-08:00

As the saying goes, "A tiring but happy day". That could very well be used to describe my day today.

I was ten minutes late, but i ended up being the first to reach city hall mrt. A few seconds later Ernest reached and while waiting for Zhi rong who would be thirty minutes late, we went to the toilet. While walking, guess what we saw? A small cute kid walking with his pants down. In fact i thought it was some new fashion thing going on with small kids but figured it wouldn't be a sane thing. His mom didn't notice it, nobody around him told his mom except us- the kind souls :D Well but i guess it was embarrassing for his mom haha!

Later Abel and Zhi rong joined us and we went to buy shirts and shoes. The sales were really darn imbal! We all bought this same design shirt but different colours and we even thought of wearing it during orientation. In addition i bought this quite nice looking shirt for just 12.60. Very worth it, better than some of the shirts i saw at topman. After that, Ernest went to buy his batman shoes! Zhi rong and Abel went to buy shoes at the I.P. zone. I was very tempted to buy the superman shoes. It was really value for money. It was only 19 bucks, discounted from the usual price of 59 bucks! But i had not enough money and the other guys were broke too. I was quite sad until Lady luck decided to visit me. I found a ten dollars hidden in the old pocket i used to store coins. It was really fun shopping but the catch is our burnt wallet.

At about 7 i left to meet my parents at Lucky Plaza. It was suppose to be a lucky place and by right i should be lucky if i were visiting that place, but it turned out to be not true at all. I GOT LOST amidst the huge crowd. In the end i still manage to reach lucky plaza safely after about 25 minutes?

So we went to this indonesian restaurant to eat. Gosh the food is delicious especially the chicken! The shop is called 'Ayam Penyet' and seriously the chicken is better than 80% of the chicken i have tasted in my life so far. So we left the place since many people were waiting for seats and while walking to Taka, my dad stopped in front of the signboard. In fact there were two signboards, one belongs to 'Ayam Penyet' and the other belongs to 'Resto Surabaya'. My dad said something which cracked me up. "I think we went to the wrong place to eat". Rofl, but nonetheless it was a good restaurant albeit being the wrong one.

I reach home, tired and aching all over. And of course i feel as naked as my empty wallet.

2006-12-18T03:12:00.000-08:00

Zz i just deleted the old post because the youtube video just won't play on my blog. Why? What's wrong? Someone tell me! Anyw if you are still interested, go to youtube and type in 'twelve days of indian christmas' and click on the animation clip. I promise you it's really hilarious and nope it's not racist so don't worry.

As i had mentioned in the post i deleted, Eragon is a really cheesy film. I don't really like it though but neither do i have bombastic comments to bomb at it. Overall, it's an ok film.

2006-12-09T19:26:00.000-08:00

21minutes 12 seconds. I should be able to do even better. Darn but it's pointless to look back and feel sad over it. On the contrary i should be glad that my stamina is returning. Yayy interesting. I miss the third place by just that little bit. If i hadn't walked i would have a high chance to fight for third. In the end i got 5th place. Well not too bad. Next year road run, i'm going to have a chance to get top 10 with that timing :D Oh by the way, the event was the 5k friends of softball run. It was held in mac ritchie, a place i hadn't visited for a long long time. The air was very fresh, very nice to run in, unlike our schl's track which is always reeking of that rubber smell. Nonetheless, i learnt something about myself which is praiseworthy :D

2006-12-07T04:31:00.000-08:00

I have met so many kinds of people over the years. There are those whom i took to a liking the moment i see them. There are also those whom i detest due to their strident character. Surprised? To many of you, I certainly don't seem like the type who would hate isn't it. But that's just me, i surprise you all.

Disappointed by me? Fret not, that was the old me i swear. I really have learnt how to control my hatred. I won't say i am impeccable now, but at least i have become a much affable person, genuinely. I have learnt to express my displeasure with someone directly, unlike my old self who would bitch behind that person.

16 years. I grow and i learn. I laugh and i cry. I like and i hate. Hate me? Tell me. Don't keep it to yourself anymore. At least that will ensure a better life for yourself. Don't believe me? I am sure you will, just reflect and ask yourself again.

2006-12-05T20:45:00.000-08:00

Perhaps you can consider getting me a puppy for christmas?

2006-11-29T04:48:00.000-08:00

Superman

"Is it quanta-man?"
"Is it radio-man?"
"No! It is Superman!"

"So what have you learn from the above 3 quote?" the teacher questioned his students and allowed them to go home to think about it.

James went home and pondered about it. However he just couldn't get the answer. He searched the net, he went to the library, he even shot the question to maplers! Yet no matter how hard he tried, all his efforts went down the drain. In exasperation, he decided to go shit. To his surprise, he actually obtained enlightenment at the same time the shit makes the "pop-i-go-into-the-water" sound. There was literally a light bulb above his head. The toilet's light bulb.

The next day he went to school and volunteered to answer the moment the teacher shot the class the question.

"Oh while trying to make sure my shit comes out in short pieces instead of a 1m long piece, i realise what Ms Wen was trying to make us understand yesterday. It is to make us practice our summary skills isn't it? Hence the answer is simply "It is superman!""

-.- =.= o.0 >.< All kinds of expressions flashed across the classroom and suddenly everyone burst out laughing.

"Well good try, and it was a detailed explanation on the process of obtaining enlightenment too. However that is not what i am looking for." Ms wen replied.

"I am trying to bring across to you all that everyone wears a mask just like Superman does. You wouldn't know that Superman is actually a guy called Dan Hong the muscleman when you see Superman himself. Similarly, a person might appear affable and always smiling but perhaps under the mask, the person is full of hatred. I hope you all understand this and do not easily believe in anyone who is nice to you or who always smiles at you" Ms Wen tells the class and smiled warmly at them after she finished.

"Ms Wen, are you testing our summary skills? If so i think i know the answer. Ms Wen, you are smiling but at the same time you are full of hatred" James answered.

The whole class burst into laughter again.

"Good try but you think too much and too far off." Miss Wen answered with a raucous voice.

On the other hand, James sat on his chair, looking bewildered and wondering what's with the commotion.

The End

The above story is purely fictional referring to no one in specific except for 'Dan Hong' which i got the idea from a very muscular man whom i know in real life.

2006-11-21T21:10:00.000-08:00

I am back! Indeed as i had expected, the 2 days 1 night training camp was no joke. It was probably or in fact the most hardcore and tiring softball camp/trainings i have ever experienced in two years. However i am sure it has helped me a lot, afterall what's success without hard work. From the training camp, i have realised that a lot of my techniques are wrong and that i now have to put in a lot of effort to forget my old technique and learn the correct one. Tell me what can be harder than that, it's like trying to nip your bad habit and to learn a good habit.

The reason why i am still able to blog is because my fingers are my only body parts which are not aching. My calfs, my tighs, my arms, my shoulders, you-name-it are all partially dead. Oh yes even my 'brother', which has to endure the icy cold 15 degrees water. =p The brother is inside joke, but having to submerge myself in the icy cold 15 degrees water is factual.

2006-11-18T06:24:00.000-08:00

So the story of my interesting holidays continues, i am quite sure that i got cheated by my employer. Ok i shouldn't address them as my employer, or rather i should address them as labour concompany. Yes my time, my energy, my labour, my hopes, my pay, my saturday! Thanks goodness it has only been one day. Phew. I told my parents and they sort of laughed at me and said that it's experience. Hrmph>< My pay lehh! Oh well, but eventually i still heed their advice and treat it as experience :D

Whee, looking at the brighter side, at least i have tomorrow to spend and rest! Whee, i have great plans for tomorrow! Following by the softball training camp on monday. I have a feeling i will be a walking dead after i come back from the camp. I know it is not going to be a slack one from Reggie's sms regarding the camp Coach Suzanne planned for us. Oh well, i am going to risk my trust once more. I have no other better alternatives anyway but to believe in her.

2006-11-18T02:49:00.000-08:00

I find a job to earn money and most importantly to kill time, not to let boredom seep into me and digest me! I was practically standing doing nothing except posing as a statue! What the heck, i don't want this kind of job! Furthermore, the products that i am supposed to promote is seriously way overpriced! I am not against the product itself totally, yes its design is good and it has won some awards. Getting a promoter will ensure that awareness of the products will increase amongst the public. However this kind of products are just like Hugo Boss, which sells once in a blue moon. Getting a promoter to the company is good, but to the promoter, it's really a badd job! Ahaha, i learn my lesson not to just accept the first job i find on classified newspaper or hear from friends. I must evaluate the jobs i find in the future more carefully and eventually decide on the job which is most worthy of my time! Sigh super tired now from standing 24/7.

2006-11-17T06:25:00.000-08:00

Elaine Sng told me something. "Friendships are constantly forged and forgotten". Oh well i second that. Perhaps in a few days or a few weeks i will forget those kids and those wonderful memories already XD

Oh yea one more thing i like about those kids. Their insensitivity but at the same time frankness, which beats the hypocrisy which tend to manifest more and more as we get older and older. I agree. I don't deny that there are traces of hypocrisy in myself too.

I love my hols once again! Most meaningful hols i ever had(: And yea 1 more month+ to go! (:

2006-11-17T05:01:00.000-08:00

Ahh, I have been trying to endure from not blogging about my everyday life because i want my story to appear at the top 24/7. Please, all of you, I need comments for the story. Well but that's beside the point. I really can't tolerate already and i really want to vent out all my thoughts and emotions.

Haha, don't anticipate, it's going to be happy memories i had during this holidays. One of which was spending those time at evangel free church helping the teachers take care of the small little kids while the teachers try to spend their time perfecting the year end celebrations.

I was attached to the K1 classes under Ms Lee. Well initially i still feel quite awkward and i couldn't really bring myself to stand out and try organising the students. However, i soon learn to be able to connect with the kids and yea i treat them as friends and played with them. It was happy moments. That was when i was sort of 'corrected', that i am not supposed to be playing with them, but keeping them quiet. It was kind of sad that i had to try to be stern at those kids. In the end, i had no choice but to do that. Fortunately, even being stern, those kids are still willing to play with me. It was really fun.

Hence, during the second and third sessions, i felt really much more comfortable with the kids and the teachers. Well, i was quite proud at how i handled the situations actually. I admit that i am actually more of the passive kind of people. Usually, I would tend to just want to have fun with people and i don't really know how to be stern and give them orders. Hence i wasn't really made to be a leader. I was aware of that problem but i really didn't try to kick the bad habit. In fact, this cip was the first step in blooming me into a leader. A leader who can connect with his followers and yet at the same time command obedience from them. As the saying goes, "the journey of a thousand miles begins with a step in the right track". This is the first step, the right step.

I am going to miss you kids, Ashley and Rachel the cute twins, Winnie the clown, Jordan the guy who likes to play catch with me, Xinyu, Clarice, Maygen, Wei Hern, etc etc. Last but not least, i want to thank Mr Spencer, Mdm Alice, Ms Lee, Elaine etc, for giving me the opportunity to try out this cip, the cip which i enjoyed most ever.

Ooh, tmr's my first day working! It was kind of impromptu, i only had training yesterday and today they informed me that i will have to start tomorrow. Gosh, i better go memorise all the products' information and details. I am really nervous.

What a fruitful holiday so far(:

2006-11-05T06:34:00.000-08:00

Apoptosis (Updated 13/11/06)

His rolex watch showed that it is already ten minutes past two in the morning. Nobody would be able to notice that the rolex watch on Kevin's wrist is a fake. It was made so real and perfect, just like Kevin's impeccable tuxedo outfit. Kevin can't wait for everything to end. It was the last transaction, and a hefty sum of money would be waiting for him.

Kevin couldn't believe his luck initially too. He had just been retrenched three months ago when his company went busted. He couldn't accept the fact that just a day ago, he was sitting in one of his company's largest office. He couldn't believe that in one day, his high salary of ten thousand a month is reduced to zero. What was more surprising was the offer he received the next day. An annonymous man had contacted him and asked if he would be interested in the job of a middle man. He only need to deliver a briefcase twice every month for three months, and he would received a five hundred thousand paycheck at the end. Everything has been going smoothly and today was the last meeting. Kevin glanced at his watch, ten minutes had just passed again. The person was late, as usual.

Every minute that Kevin still had to wait increase his heartbeat rate. Kevin glanced at the sinister briefcase beside him, and he wondered what it was. He had a very strong urge to peek inside. Thousands of possibilities of what the briefcase might contained popped into his mind. However Kevin's nature and conscience never allowed him to do anything against his integrity.

Kevin's head jerked up. He heard a loud bang. This was the first unusual encounter he had experienced ever since he started working for his annonymous boss. His heart started beating faster and faster. He prayed that everything would go smoothly. Suddenly, his head felt an acute pain, followed by his butt. Kevin lost his balance and fell to the ground. It was painful, and he looked up. In front of him, four malicious looking hoodlums towered above him.

"Fuck you all. What do you all want from me?" Kevin shouted in exasperation.

Those hoodlums ignored him. After conversing in a language Kevin couldn't understand, one of the hoodlums led out a grin. He stared at Kevin. The next moment, all four of them started beating Kevin. Kevin tried, but he couldn't resist them. Kevin gave up the struggle and soon, his mind slipped into darkness...

To be continued...

Apoptosis...(continued)

It was another hectic monday morning for Daniella. The moment she stepped into office, requests for her help buzz around her ears like a swarm of bees. That is the catch of being a mortuary assistant albeit having a good pay.

"Daniella, Dr. Winston wants you in the 'sewing room' as soon as you reach," Sharon the secretary shouted to her.

The sewing room is the common name of the autopsy room given by the staff. Daniella had no idea why the staff came up with that nickname. It was told to her once she started work two years ago. Without any hesitation, Daniella rushed down to the mortuary.

"Great, my apprentice is finally here," Dr. Winston exclaimed once he saw Daniella enter the room.

Dr. Winston is a well-built and good-looking guy in his mid 40s. His affable personality further boosted his X-factor which attracted Daniella to him. Over the two years, Daniella has been working closely under him and over time, she soon developed some feelings for Dr. Winston.

Daniella looks as though she just had a shower when she entered the room. It was a long way from the entrance of the building to the autopsy room and Daniella had to sprint all the way with her heavy breakfast in her stomach. However, she doesn't want to disappoint Dr. Winston. After working with him for two years, she knows that he is very strict on punctuality and she didn't want to disappoint him.

"Now, can you tell me what you feel about this body?" Dr. Winston asked with a chagrined look on his face.

Daniella looked down at the body and the sight immediately made her feel nauseous initially. She has never seen such a badly decomposed body before in her two years of working in the mortuary. The skin was in bad shape and all the skin were hanging everywhere. The internal organs looked as though they were submerge in strong acid, disfiguring everything.

"It's bad isn't it," Dr. Winston added. "The police found an identification card in his wallet but his family couldn't identify the victim due to his badly decompose state. They found this body beside one of the rubbish dump near Time Square. Don't you think this case is quite interesting?"

"Well, i do agree that the body looks very bad," Daniella replied. "But I don't see how interesting it can be. I mean, isn't it another one of those murder cases where the bodies were left to decompose?"

"On the surface, I thought it was so too. However, a few people actually claimed that they met the victim a roughly three days ago. For a body to decompose to such a bad state, it will need at least a week and given that the body is submerge in water," Dr. Winston said.

"Hmm, what's the victim's name?" Daniella questioned.

"Kevin Dyostzky," Dr winston replied.

To be continued...

2006-11-03T21:10:00.000-08:00

Deep within myself, i know i will never be able to bury the hatchet. Probably, this is the first time so much hatred has been accumulated in me. I am sorry to say, that this invisible wall is going to stand there until one day a miracle happens. I am sorry to say, that if this wall is going to be the gap that prevent the two halves from joining back together, i don't care. For i hate nothing more than ******* in my life.

On a happier note, i recieved my gpa back yesterday. Glad to say that i have met my expectations, or even surpassed my expectations for this semester by 0.1. Yea i improved from a 2.8 last semester to 3.6 this semester. The moral of the story is, 'you reap what you sow'.

I remember having gone through this kind of feeling many times before. Every year when i am promoted, everytime when i have to leave a group of people, every moment when i start reflecting and recollecting the sad or happy memories spent together, i will feel this way which cannot be described by words. I can't say whether it is a boon or curse that this year is ending. Only time will tell.

2006-11-02T07:52:00.000-08:00

So i've watched Deathnote with 'brothers' (guys-wannabe), and i went to watch The Prestige with the real guys today. Unfortunately, both groups didn't want to watch The Guardian with me. However, thankfully both shows were really good. Both shows have very good plots and good casts, especially The Prestige which has so much twists in the story. However, i am still looking for people to watch The Guardian with me. My pocket is becoming a complete hole soon. So please ask me out to watch The Guardian before my pocket really becomes a hole.

I've chosen and more or less confirmed my combi. BCME. Had a dilemma whether i should take KI or GP, but i guess i wna do all BCME at at least a H2 level, so i'll settle for GP.

2006-11-01T07:18:00.000-08:00

I just got back from steamboat session at marina bay. Lotsa interesting happened but i am too lazy to blog. Well but the main thing is THANK YOU to all my friends who celebrated my birthday for me, and in such a special way this year(; Thank you Xiao ying, Cat, Felicia, Jia yun, Simin, Cherry, Wee teng for accompanying me to the steamboat. The place wasn't really hygenic but i really enjoyed their presence and company. Oh yea i am really not made to cook. Haha most of the time, Wee teng, Xiao ying and Jia yun were cooking. I got so annoyed with the hygene of the food that i decided to settle down with cooked food instead. Lol! Oh the 'cake story' was interesting too. Overall it was really great. Thank you all, thank you!

Oh did i mentioned that i got so many soft toys this year. Zhi rong gave me a super huge one. Simin and Cherry gave me a goatee with some meanings behind it, yea quite meaningful(: Cat, Jia yun, Feli bought me a bird that can chirp from the zoo! Sigh too bad i couldn't make it to the zoo trip. Thank you all of you(:

2006-10-30T05:08:00.000-08:00

HCL Os is finally over! And i am finally 16! This birthday is really one of my best ever. Let me thank a couple of people first.

Thanks to my parents for giving me the support and for the BIG ang pow! Haha more of the support they gave me during ass week and today's big O!
Thanks to my sister who gave me a dog tag! Surprise surprise :O
Thanks to my 'brothers' who accompanied me after O today and of course the constant support they gave me.
Thanks to ZHI RONG and uh hum=p, for giving me that big soft toy which i carried around the whole day even at Vivo city.
Thanks to all those who spammed my inbox, my classmates, schoolmates and even those from other schools(:
Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday(;
Thanks to all of you!

Haha i am really beat alr. Went to watch deathnote, and yea it's really good. I wna be as smart as L or Light. Just smart and not any of their other traits. Yawns, im blogging until here only, shall go chat or maybe go maple. Tata! :D

2006-10-23T06:14:00.000-07:00

Sigh. Very very very stressed.

7 more days to birthday but most importantly 7 more days to Os.

I realised I really can't do shit for chinese. I'm a failure in prelims. I'm really scared now.

Everything is not going smoothly. Everything is crumbling down.

Sigh. Very very very stressed.

2006-10-20T03:43:00.000-07:00

We take photos whenever we want to remember the happy moments. Time flies and we will soon forget those happy moments we spent together, we might even forget the existence of that particular scene a few years down the road. Taking photos help us to store our memories inside those photos. For example during a wedding, couples take photos to remember their happy moments, children take photos during their birthday when they are young to remember their childhood. Likewise, we take photos now to retain those wonderful memories we had together.

While we are cleaning up our classrooms today, i felt as though all the wonderful memories are being washed away at the same time. Thanks goodness Elaine had with her a camera, and those wonderful memories of 03 are kept inside those films. Unfortunately, my table cannot follow me up to ip3. Weird but no doubt interesting, the table contains a lot of my memories, including those drawings and the stickers. And sadly enough, the camera couldn't capture my drawings.

We really had great times together. I know i will really miss those great times. Even though there were bad times too, but those bad memories help us to even cherish each other more and even help to forge stronger bonds for some.

I am really glad that these two years have not been wasted because i have managed to get real friends whom i can relate to. It is a pity that i have just found them recently and now we are going to be seperated already. However I know that the ups and downs we had together will always stay in my memories.

2006-10-18T23:23:00.000-07:00

i swear that i really didn't expect to do this well for Ma2105. In fact it was totally beyond my expectations. Previously, when i said that i am going to do badly, that's definitely how i felt at that time. I am not faking it and seriously i do hate those people who know that they can do well and yet they still act as if they don't do well. Ok perhaps those who are really extreme and i try my best not to be one of them sub conciously or conciously. I have said my piece but its up to you all to believe it or not. P and C was really one of my worst fears and especially since the rumours that 75% of the level failed have been spreading around. Oh well, with all these said, i am really quite glad with my grade (: Phew!

And now to edit the grades which i posted on my previous post. Phew assessment week is finally over. Now comes O level Higher chinese(: Oh yea i wna thanks my group of 'brothers' too! Especially Simin for volunteering to help me with my chinese next week! Xie xie ni!

Higher Chinese- C+
Ma2105- A

2006-10-18T01:23:00.000-07:00

Personally, i feel quite satisfied with my results this semester. They are not extremely good as compared to most of my other peers, especially my classmates who gets A+ and more A+. However i am still glad that i have met the goals and expectations i set for myself this semester. A pity that i couldn't manage to get an A+ though, but it was quite close for a few subjects. In fact what i am most pleased is that i have managed to improve from an average of C grade student to A. Hoho. I have to thank many people for the motivation, the encouragement, and of course the positive competition. We will recieve two last papers for tmr. I know my chemistry grades already though, hence it's left with P&C's. Rumours have that 75% of the level failed the paper, and i don't really have high hopes for the paper because that was the paper which i didn't really put in effort for on that last day. Since i believe in 'you reap what you sow'. If i didn't really put in much effort for it, how could i be expecting a good grade for it. Anyw these are the results which i have gotten back already. I really appreciate all the teachers help and haha i can't leave out my classmates too. Michelle, i am starting to bloom ok, at least academically (: Hey Wendy, the A i promised you i will get for maths long long ago, and now i get A for Ma2104! Kai sheng for disturbing you almost 24/7 during chem when we were sitting together. Ahaha and to all the pro people such as Reg, Kenneth, Jason, etc for stressing me out and hence motivating me to set higher expectations. Other than my classmates, to some of my other friends too such as super hardworking Zhuo er for the constant encouragement. And many others(: Thank you all!

Mi2101- A (Phew, the paper was a surprise and thanks Mrs tan for teaching us)
Ma2104- A (I really have to thank Mr Eng for the encouragement and all the time he spent on consultations with him.)
La2102- B+ (My english is really bad and to get a B+ is certainly something good. Thanks Miss Wong for all the advice she has given me on improving my language.)
Ih2104- A (Aye i didn't do too well for the in-class essay but thanks Ms Oon for all your help and entertainment)
Is2107- A (Yay i am really glad i manage to get an A and didn't disappoint myself because i really love you bio and thanks Mrs Fong too!)
Is 2105- A (Woot my worst fear, a U to A. Haha Thanks Ms Ong for all the time you spent on us on consultation just before assessment week)
Is 2106- B+ (Thanks lots elizabeth my peer tutor, and of course Ms Yeo whom i kept bombarding simple and basic questions to. Anyw i am really glad i don't need to take selection test)
Higher Chinese- C! (Ew ew C for chinese, but thanks Wen lao shi for your time and effort too. I will try harder for my O which is in less than 2 weeks! Ahh)
Ma2105- ? ( Well whatever the score is, thank you Mr Tan and haha seriously i just hope i can pass, we shall see tomorrow)

2006-10-17T02:21:00.000-07:00

In just a few more days, and we would be graduating from Ip2. To me, IP3 is going to be a totally different life from IP2 albeit i would still be studying in the same school. 05IP03 is not going to study in a class anymore and we would only meet during civics. Yes, i predict that it's going to be heart-wrenching during the chalet stay when we see each other again.

As i was reflecting yesterday night, it hit my conscience because earlier on i was in fact bitching about some ppl in my class. Yes guys do bitch. Afterall it's part and parcel of life for you to meet people whom you really can't connect with. Ideas clash and soon you start to hate that person to the core. Sigh, it's hard for me to suddenly treat that person as a normal friend. It's hard. However why am i so narrow-minded? Even at this juncture, when we are going to seperate soon. Sigh, right now i really feel guilty.

Anyw as i was saying 05ip03 is sort of going to be split up since we all have different subject combinations. Needless to say it, i am going to miss it. I know i will so i shouldn't try to deny it already. In fact one thing i used to hate being in 03 is the clash of attitudes. Yea i am really a big fat slacker, and i really detest the competitive atmosphere. However perhaps that had changed me for the better, that was what motivated me to want to improve to catch up with my class. At least for the short period of time recently. 05Ip03 has in fact been branded the 'mugger class'. Oh to all who say this, i really disagree with you all. Yes there are in fact extreme muggers, but that is inevitable for every single classes in NJC. C'mon it's NJC. 05IP03 is probably a little more quiet during lessons, a little more attentive and a little less lazy in taking down notes. Not to mention that it has a little lesser extreme slackers like me. Yeap but as a slacker, i have a confession to make here. I respect the muggers in my class. They are what motivate me. In fact if not for them, i don't know what state i am going to be in right now. Perhaps a person with a level 100 maple character and a gpa of lesser than 2. However it is them that prevent me from becoming that state. Thank you 05Ip03. I am going to miss all the good times i had with you all.

2006-10-14T09:37:00.000-07:00

Gosh i wna clear this up. Anyw my past few posts meant, i tot the papers were easy when i was doing them! BUT AFTER THE TESTS, i think im gna flunk cos all my answers or most were wrong. SO SO I'VE FLUNK THE PAPERS!

Anyw post exam activities are good. And i mean external post exam activities like going bowling etc and GOING SAKAE. Haha 6 of use finished 80+ plates at the buffet. Anyw don't feel like blogging. So that's it for today. SIgh cos i flunk my papers especially probability. Sigh i don't want next week to come. Ahh.

Anyw open day was fun;D

2006-10-11T10:11:00.000-07:00

Freak. Since 11 i have been tossing and turning on my bed. I just can't sleep. Freak how how how!? Tmr got maths paper! Ahh now is 1 alr. Ok i think i better go try to sleep again. This is darn random haha.

2006-10-10T22:57:00.000-07:00

Wth i don't want to comment on my papers anymore. As usual i realised so many noob mistakes after papers. Anyw ONE MORE PAPER TO GO! Woot. Well but after which i have O lvl Hcl on 30th oct :/ My bdae too ;D I have a wish and i'm not going to tell you all because if i say out it won't come true anymore ;D Zz PnC, the worst of the the worst.

2006-10-09T23:42:00.000-07:00

Yay four papers over. So i had chem and bio papers today. Well similarly i had quite high confidence after i finished. However, at the last minute, i realised i had careless here and there and all have got to do with trivial subtractions errors. For example, 12S - 8S = 2S! Geez, which led to the subsequent parts wrong too. Though i do hope i can get a few marks from that question. And haha of course i wish i can get at least B or hopefull As for the papers. Hope hope hope :D Physics tmr and follow by Amaths on thursday then ill go partaye! Yayy. Tata.

2006-10-09T00:45:00.000-07:00

Finally, the first two papers down. Maths was ok i guess. In fact i thought it was easy while doing the test, and duh i was quite glad. However after comparing answers with my friends after the test, my day got worse. Lol quite a few mistakes here and there already. Minus around 10 marks alr. But still hope i can get A for this paper.

I was darn dumb during LA :// Before the test i went to play chess with Daniel, thinking that everything should be ok since i've already copied my outline into my Crucible book. Then when i went into the hall, i heard Miss Wong saying that they will check the book. And i quickly went to erase everything. EVERYTHING. Great i was doing the essay quite impromptuly. Sigh shldn't have erased since they didn't really check at all. Bleh.

Alright, chem and bio tmr. Tata.

2006-10-07T08:20:00.000-07:00

Great! Please sense the sarcasm. I've been sleeping at before 11pm and waking up at after 8am for the past few days. For the past 5 hours, I've been watching TV, which is the only reason that allow me to survive past 11pm today. AND i've only one last day for my preparation. I haven't touched MA2104 at all. So if you think you are the first and only one doomed, don't worry, you are not the worst. For i am. Oh yea, on a lighter note, i'm going to sleep now and hopefully wake up at 7 tmr.

2006-10-02T07:06:00.000-07:00

I survived being a mugger for a few days! Whee at least i am able to say i have tried. Well i had enough of those few days. As much as i do respect those muggers for having the discipline to a certain extent, but it's just not me. From today onwards, no more mugging until some crazy wave strike me again ;D

Alright i'll go back to my old lifestyle. I am going to play more but at the same time study slightly more than i used to be. Haha mugger life does give you good grades etc, but at the same time it screw up my health like shyt. Everyday i get headaches and always get so stressed and worked up when i can't concentrate.

I am just not meant to be a mugger. However i am proud to say, i am Wilbert ;D

2006-09-22T23:41:00.000-07:00

I am convince. "You reap what you sow". Finally i am able to really believe in that phrase and not doubt it anymore. For the past few weeks, i've been putting much more effort in my studies and well i am so pleased by the results that i've seen. I am not bragging here, so please don't flame me. I just want to express how i feel now. Elated, Joy, etc.

Finally the last major project in IP2 is over. All the groups in my class did very well, so let's give 05ip03 a round of applause ;D And yea i wna thank my group for this wonderful memory too! Elaine, Michelle, Joanne and Kenneth in random order! Thank you all! After finish presenting, i was so glad that it is all over. Yet at the same time, i feel so sad that we won't have such fun projects anymore. I admit these projects are very stressful and time-consuming, in fact i would rather sit for papers. However there is no doubt that such projects are so much more fun.

While having LA lesson, me and cat were doing retarded things again, and she wrote a postcard expressing her views about next year. Oh mann i can't imagine that i have never done a project with her ever! Anyw yea the year is coming to an end. I shouldn't be wasting it. I am going to work hard! For everything! Yea and i swear, i will try my best to get the kind of grades i got at the start of my ip life, somwhere around 3.5. I really regret slacking for 1 year plus and cause my grades to drop to 2.8. But now, i won't let anyone be disappointed. 3.5 here i come again!

2006-09-08T00:38:00.000-07:00

Frig we had bio gallery walk just now. I say i am so blessed to have done on menopause. The other groups had to research on all those gross pictures, yes GROSS! One look at it and any more thoughts, i would have puked. On the other hand, it was quite fun i guess. Cat brought condoms! Wendy and jia hui had another state of art project. Mr moses came to take a look at us. Well much more than that, but what i find funniest was Yu Chen's project. Imagine u take a pump and pump air into ur penis to make it erect. Sick right? What if there were too much air and the penis explodes during intercourse? Yes, mrs fong said we should use these terms boldly >.<

I can't wait to go full steam into maple. Oh btw, i tried to stay up till 2 to do work like most of my other peers. But i failed big time thank you. At 12 i was half alive and at 1 i couldn't take it anymore so i just went to bed. The most unfortunate thing is i didn't manage to complete any work again. Sigh.

Relaxing and enjoying is so fun. Yet i know that i've to get out of my comfort zone. I guess i just have to try harder.

2006-09-04T07:08:00.000-07:00

I didn't intend to blog today. But i guess this funny incident is so hilarious that i think i should share with all. It's a conversation i had with Zhi Rong. On a side note, well mapling today and talking to my guild members made my day. Those cgs ppl are funny yet not funny? But this really make my day! Rofl! Prepare for it ;D

[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
oh well
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
u nv go out this few days ah
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
got lar
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
but went to schl
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
lol
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
.........
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
hahahah
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
as in what stand u are on lar
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
supporting torture or not
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
use torture
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
hahaha
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
wahh
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
but then its inmoral
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
hahah
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
no la
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
situations mah
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
oh well
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
lol
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
then what about his wife
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
tts y i say le mah
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
1 vs 200
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
as in u think torturing his wife is justifiable too
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
i can justify it if i wan
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
dun justify also can
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
i dun noe which one to pick leh
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
sheesh lar
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
its not as simple as the situation u noe
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
lol
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
frig
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
now u noe why i dun wna do alr
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
lol
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
cos if u allow torture in this case
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
i can make it justifiable
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
ok so if they torture his wife too
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
who is innocent
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
the innocent ppl l
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
who kena bomb
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
as in his wife is innocent
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
too
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
i mean it would be her responsiblilty to ensure she would not allow her mad husband to do such tings wa

[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
so morally irresponisible
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
err
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
this is warped lar
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
she's not her husband accomplice leh
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
she doesn't even noe right
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
i noe
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
and the question says she's innocent!
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
but its hre responisible to make her husband moral just le wat
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
err
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
oh gosh
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
haha
Shit shit. What moral dilemmas. says:
but i guess so lar
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
lol
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
i can argue boht ways
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
i just gonna list out
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
c which way esier
[zhirong] 记忆会消失，但爱永远会存在 says:
hahah

Gosh i give up after that :D

2006-09-02T01:05:00.000-07:00

Frig! I haven't done any work over the past few free days. Say 'shit' with me and we can all go shit and eat shit together. Darn so on thursday after the teacher's day celebration, went cine to watch movie. The 'devil wears prada' is not as good as i had anticipated. Well its all cos Xiao ying told me before that its the most anticipated movie of the year. What bullshit. Thanks goodness after that Ferleen and wee teng suggested we watch click too. 'Click' makes my day. Its a darn good movie. Mann i teared and the only movie that had made me tear before was 'Ladder 49'. Anyw i saw the thriller for 'the guardian' during the ads shown before 'devil wears prada' started, and i hereby announce its the most anticipated movie for me right now. Shall watch it on the day of HCL Os which happens to my Bdae too!

Oh shit, HCL Os remind me that im sup to be studying right now or rather i should be studying, which i haven't. Say 'shit' with me again. And 'shit' reminds me that i started playing maple again. Well yes let us all say 'shit' again for me. Anyw the coincidental thing is on the day i started mapling again, kwok did too! Woot and partying together was so much more fun and more efficient. So yea cat lee manage to get to lvl49 while i was gone, amazing.

Lol 'shit' have to go prepare for the concert later. OH MANN! I AM IN DEEP SHIT IF I DON'T START STUDYING RIGHT NOW. SOMEONE GET SOME SHIT TO SCARE ME TO STUDY PLS.

2006-08-26T06:37:00.000-07:00

Hey im gonna be a bit blunt in this post. First off let me start off by confessing that i think everyone has a bitchy side inside him/her. Ah i dno what is the word i can use to describe guys who act like bitches. Haha! Oh well if you are mad at me for saying this, please take a few seconds and reflect. It is the truth isn't it.

Anyw frig friday sucks. It wasn't friday the 13th, however it was worse than friday the 13th. I spent so much more time on studying for the maths test, 25% and i did so badly. Gosh ARGH! I really don't like this mann. That's not the worst part. I was so mad during PE that i went into frenzy mode and well i became so not aware of my surrounding. U noe like a mad and drunk man who will bound to get into accidents. Indeed i did, i jumped into the air to try to intercept a ball and tripped in the air and fell and SPRAINED MY FRIGGIN ANKLE. Well i don't know whether it was my weight or not but it was such a bad sprain i couldn't even walk back. Had to hop.

Haha up till this point, i think i should really thank all those who helped me. Be it just staying there or helping me to the bench or helping me home. First off, thank you jia fang and her mom who gave me a lift home. Ben and Rayshio for helping me out to school. Reg for insisting on carrying my adidas bag. Haha fortunately i carried half the stuff i bring to school normally. Thank you Xiao ying for accompanying me home, well you got a lift to my house there too=p And many others lar. Oh let me end off with this, Everyone no matter how bitchy you can be at times, i believe everyone has a kind side in them too (: This is what will keep mankind alive on this earth XD

2006-08-14T03:47:00.000-07:00

I suddenly had this random thought of the purpose of our lives. So what exactly do humans live on for? Many people continue to work so hard so that they will have a better future. This is no doubt true. However i seriously think there's something missing. There must be a greater purpose in this world that we are born for. If we work so hard just for a better future, when we die, what we have worked hard for will all go down the drain. However some may say we have left a better foundation for the next generation and so on and so forth, to some extent this is true. Yet this will just go on and on and there will never be a real, specific 'goal'!

Anyw since i am on the topic of the purpose of our lives, let me question you, what exactly is the main purpose of your life. If it is the stereotype answer like 'Oh so that i will have a good job, good life, money, etc...', I think you should start reflecting again. You are just making yourself miserable if that's the purpose of your life. That is because you are living just for the sake of living. I don't exactly know what is the purpose of human's life. However i think everyone has different purposes. Some might want to live on and work hard because they deem the present world as a lousy place and they sought to change the world. Some might continue to strive hard because of a dark past which fuel them. Well i used to think that i should work very hard now so that i can have a good life. I am not totally against that idea. However i think perhaps i have always been wrong. I should pursue an interest in my life that will make my life be fruitful. Afterall riches and status won't follow you to your deathbed. Geez my one cent worth of thought.

2006-08-03T06:22:00.000-07:00

Look outside your window right now, and you will see cars on the streets. Look up into the sky now and you might be able to spot a plane. Look around your house and you can definitely see high-tech equipments and all the electricity appliances. Yes, few hundred years ago, all these sights are nothing but imaginations and illusions. Today, it is the reality.

Many of us applaud the many scientists who have sacrificed a lot of time to invent all these items. These inventions have brought us a lot of conveniences and save us a lot of time. No doubt, they are inventions which have benefited our lives.

Look outside your window right now. Look up into the sky right now. Look around your house right now. What you probably won't notice is all the bacteria and molecules at a molecular level. A few hundreds or thousands years ago, these molecules and bacteria are nthing but imaginations and illusions. Today, they are reality.

We applaud the inventors for coming up with the microscope. It allows us to identify bacterias and viruses causing strange diseases. We applaud inventors for coming up with the modern vehicles, electrical appliances, and other high-tech equipments and items.

Perhaps we should applaud the discovery of all the nuclear power and explosives that are discussed under chemistry at the molecular level! Perhaps we should applaud the car companies for coming up with more sleek designs of cars that consume a lot of oil, etc. Yes, perhaps we should applaud all these inventions that are making the world degenerate now.

I seriously can sense that this Earth is really going to self-destruct soon. All the above-mentioned inventions are actually contributing to the degeneration of mankind and mankind's dwelling, the earth. The inventions have played an important part in the shaping of today's humans' characters and behaviours, which are really getting from bad to worse. The invention of vehicles and explosives are being used by countries to threaten each other and to protect itself. The inventions are no longer as helpful as they were when they were invented. Frankly speaking, i think the inventions, mankind's friends, are becoming the weapon of the mankind's enemy against mankind.

I foresee, that there will never be a 'war of the worlds'. For our world will be fighting a war against itself, and it will think it will triumph of course. However when our world realised that it has actually lost, all will be too late already.

2006-07-21T03:10:00.000-07:00

Whee! Thanks to all those who complimented my first and ever poem! Yayy! Ok i'll wait for another wave of inspirations and i'll write another poem again (:

"I just want to be an ordinary man leading an ordinary life and marry an ordinary women for an ordinary family and get an ordinary job and then die an ordinary death at ripe old age." That's what Shikamaru said in the anime 'naruto'. Well along those lines. I would like that to happen for me too but i guess its quite impossible for i have more greed and also today's society doesn't allow that to happen anymore!

I WNA GO USA! LET'S HOPE WE CAN WIN OM NEXT YEAR! LET'S GO TEAM 03!

2006-07-17T03:40:00.000-07:00

I met this missionary from US at newton mrt. He is elder martin. Anyw initially i thought they were pilots lar, big sized US fellows, but yet again too young to be. So when i was stoning, he suddenly approached me and started a convo with me. So he was telling me about the testiment of mormon or something that sounds like 'mormon'. Can't remember already. Then he was also saying something regarding moses, etc. Well and he revealed that he lives at YCK now. He has been here for 5 months alr. Gosh singapore is just so small isn't it? YCK? Gosh. Well then he asked me if he can meet with me some other time so that he can pass me that book. I was hesistating lar! But i couldn't bring myself to reject also. So he asked for my number and at that same time, i had reached me stop alr. So i quickly mumbled out the number and alighted the train.

Well and i was 15 minutes late for my dental appointment. Held back in schl lar. All the cip thing and lessons ending later than what it's supposed to end at. Doc vicpearly looks really angry. I was so scared ok. Well if i were the me a few weeks ago, i probably would have forgotten already. But right now, i suddenly feel that every minutes is so important and i shouldn't be late. So i am really angry with myself that i was late lar. Zz, mann but i didn't want to miss any part of the lessons too. Sigh morality dilemma, which is what we are going to have for MI this semester. Cool mann!

2006-07-16T06:54:00.000-07:00

Yo! I was so bored that i decided to try something new. This is my first poem so if it sounds awful, please pardon me.

'Solitude'

The world,
is nothing more than a word.

All around,
without a sound,
only the darkness,
of a deep abyss.

Grey and black,
the colours of despair,
paint the heart.

Emotions,
that transcends understanding,
manifest the mind.

The world,
is nothing more than a word,
a word which is,
nothing more than fantasy,
to the person lying in the bed.

2006-06-23T06:01:00.000-07:00

Today was so tiring! Woke up at 10. Prepare and went out to toapayoh to meet cat, feli and jiayun. Ate macs until 1. Starting standing outside mac and scouting around for the cip ppl until 140+. Realize we are sup to meet at city hall, rush to city hall. Collected the donation tins and starting collecting donations until 230. Jia yun found out that she left her retainers at macs. Went to macs to find Jia yun's retainers. Sat down for 5 minutes to eat my ice cream. Rush to Bugis to collect donations. Rush to city hall and realize donation tin is not heavy enough. So started collecting donations until 6!!! Went to mos burger to get a drink and rested for 10 minutes and went home. Omg. Im so beat and tired now i don't want to continue blogging already. Tmr still have to collect. Its like 3-4 hours of non stop saying the two same phrases--'would you like to donate to straits time pocket money fund? Thank you very much'. Some ppl even cut you off at 'donate to....'. Some ppl are funny too. SOme ppl are nice. Some ppl are weird. Some ppl are dao. Some ppl are polite. Some ppl like bears a lot! HAha! Had a tiring but nice day.

2006-06-21T20:59:00.000-07:00

I felt completely like a drug addict who is undergoing the famous 'cold turkey' treatment in a rehabitation centre. Alright, probably not that bad, but that is the best analogy i can come up with.Many factors come into play, and of course the main factor is probably me trying to force myself not to maple and getting myself to spend hours in a single day(first time after months) to focus on maths and nothing else. So i deeply apologise for those i acted weird to yesterday and sincerely thank all those who helped to cheer me up intentionally or unintentionally (:

I realised how addicted i am to the virtual world. Yesterday morning till the evening, i was at orchard library doing maths with wee teng. Everything went well until i started on so many questions which i kept getting stuck at. I guess maths can be a boon or a curse. When you successfully solve a hard question, you felt like you are in heaven. However after long hours of thinking and you are still stuck at a question, you felt like you are in hell. Yeap. So after that when i got home, i really had the urge to maple. This time i haven't deleted maplestory from the com. And gosh, how terrible it is when you are just less than 1 metre away from the maple world, but you yourself prevent yourself from getting into it. And i was having bad stomachache which probably made things worse. So yea that night, i spent my time doing maths homework and on msn while torturing myself because i really really had the strong urge to maple!! And many who talked to me yesterday witnessed the bad side of me. Blunt wilbert! Pardon me again.

I came to a conclusion. Virtual world can indeed be as harmful as drugs, or anything that you want to use to get yourself away reality. I assume there are many people out there in the world who are equally addicted to maple story or any other online games. This is what i figured is so attracting about online games. For many, it's just to try out something their friend recommended or something to kill boredom for awhile. This, i guess is perfectly alright. Yet after awhile, there are people(like me) who had actually got so into the game that we play the game to get ourselves away from reality.

In the virtual world, you start on a new life, embark on a new journey. So many worries that manifest in the reality world is now gone once you entered the virtual world. For games like maplestory for example, the stronger you get or the richer you are, more people in the game will respect you. Human nature i figured has been such that everyone actually at some point of a time have dreams of excelling in something in their life. For many who can't in the reality, the games are their saviours. For games like maplestory, etc, the more time you spent playing productively, the better your character will become. So this is one reason why many people fall to the trap of the virtual world. To get rid of the worries they have in the reality world and get the respect of ingame players. However as i had mentioned earlier on, the virtual world is a trap, the catch is that it only helped to get rid of ur worries temporily and the amount of time you spent escaping from the reality is directly proportionate to the amount of worries that will be added to what worries you have in the reality world. Of course, i said earlier on, this only applies to the few or to the many that had turned to the virtual world as a source of refuge, not those who turned to the virtual world due to a curiosity or just to kill boredom for a short period of time. Yet again the later cases might developed into the former case of turning to the virtual world as a source of refuge.

What is mentioned above is just how i felt and what i guess had happened to me. There are many other reasons out there why people are actually so obssessed with the virtual world. And i guess this will help many who are addicted to maple. If you are really determined to stop urself from getting hooked up to whatever harms that you are associated to, you can definitely succeed, just don't give up! Haha i don't know if you might think i am the best person to preach this, but this time i am really determined to quit maple and turn to the reality world as a refuge instead. It is starting to work and i can see the effects. Tata!

2006-06-20T00:16:00.000-07:00

After one and a half days of very hard work, I'VE FINALLY FINISHED THE CHINESE BOOK REVIEW! It's the first time, i've stayed up till 2+ to try to finish something which is still two weeks away from its due date. I remember the last time when i put in so much hard work and tapping all my creativity cells into the work was P5. Yes that was how long ago since i last put in so much effort into a piece of work. This time, i didn't feel pressured or stress when doing it. I felt the air of motivation i used to had in the past, in the past long before i came to nj. Felt so happy that i finally finished something which i give in my best! <333333333

Oh well, i'll take a little time off to blog before i go do some other stuffs. Jakarta was fun, perhaps not the first day! Did i tell you all how huge the houses there are! My aunt's house is like 4 stories high and it's so huge as compared to normal bungalows in Singapore. Then i went to my mom's friend's house and that place is LIKE A PALACE! It's beside the sea(or huge lake) and they had this boat! Oh mann, the houses there are so cheap but nice! Oh yea and i felt like a prince there! My aunt had 3 maids aged around 20. Haha, life there is good.

However the things there are quite expensive. Most of the malls have shops like luis vuitton, gucci, etc. Basically the shops are for those who are loaded with money, who is sadly not me. I saw this pair of jeans that cost roughly 600 singapore dollars. ZZzzz... Oh and the billabong/ripcurl/etc products are actually more expensive than Singapore. So for the many whom i wanted to buy gifts back, hehz, I'll buy you all stuffs in singapore. Better, and at around the same price.

My two twin cousins are super uber irritating and gh3y. I simply can't tolerate them, but i still had to cos im living in their house. Sigh. Thanks goodness i had this other cousin(junior), who is migrating to jakarta. Even though he's super uber flirty, and yea handsome and stuffs, but it's quite nice to hang out and get him to share about his experiences. Also i am bolder when i hang out around him. In the end throughout my whole trip there, i was wearing my choker, gelled my hair and dress like a poser. There was once i even brought a trucker cap to the mall but felt very uncomfortable when i walk around with it. Haha. So yea i can remember all the times when junior and I tried to escape from the twins and we go to pizza hut, starbuck, etc to chat and look at ppl! Aiz, won't see them for at least another year or so i guess.

Burnt a big hole in my pocket at the end of the trip(8 days). I spent around 300-400 dollars mainly on food and clothings on my stay in jakarta. Well but on the night when i came back to singapore again, i manage to come to an agreement with jei to sell him my mesos! 120 sing dollars for 70 millions! Yay 120 dollars. Need them badly. Going to meet jei(jiajun) on thursday at newton. So yeap you might have infered, i am quitting maple. The 120 bucks was really a bonus. I was giving out my maple stuffs to all my close maple friends like cat when jei offered to buy at 3 bucks per million. Haha but to get him to buy more, i sold him 70 millions for only $120. In the future, i am gonna do business and psychology!

Why do i wna do business? Cos it's so fun! I mean when you successfully make a business deal with someone, how great you would feel. It's just like how i felt when i was discussing with jei about selling him the mesos. Lots of difficulties surfaced but you would feel good when you have the answers to them. As for psychology, i always find the human mind very interesting. How people think and react at topics like love, racism, sexism, etc is just so interesting yet weird. Sometimes i couldn't even figure out why i react certain ways.

Alright, this is it for now. My room is in such a mess after doing my book review. Tata all!

2006-06-08T20:28:00.000-07:00

Anime rocks! It adds so much more colours to my life! Haha perhaps its cos i am a deprived kid so i have to turn to anime. Oh well anyway, anime is simply good.

I am going to indon tomorrow! Cya everyone here! Gosh i haven't even prepared for Adriel's bdae party! Oh and i haven't even prepared my clothings to bring to indon! Aren't i screwed ;D But don't worry, somehow i manage to wriggle out of every single probs i have so far, so this shouldn't be a prob. I'll continue to watch anime which i borrowed from elizabeth. AIR!

Anyw, i'll miss all of you! Especially those whom i always talk to! But don't worry, 8 days, i'll still be alive and kicking! Hoho, and your ears will be ringing with all my gibberish ;D Jk!

2006-06-04T06:33:00.000-07:00

To everyone out there who's trying to persuade me to stay as who i am, doing what i did, give up. Kudos to you all who tried, i know you all meant it for my own good. However i assure you that the path i am going to choose is what i believe is for my own good. Sometimes you don't expect that there's something better out there, yet there is if you had taken a step out to attempt to find out about it.

Yeap this is supposed to be implicit until the day i finally announce my decision. Charmil (Sorry i don't know how to spell your name) was right in saying there's this stinging feeling at your arms. That is what i am experiencing too. Afterall i've done that action for thousands of times. Perhaps weeks ago i still wouldn't be so sure, but i am very sure i wouldn't want to change my decision now. The longer i stay with them, the better i feel as compared to the other group. There's this chinese idiom called 'ai wu ji wu', i am sorry no matter how i like 'it', i wouldn't want to be with it anymore.

Yayy! I am going to jakarta on the 10th. Well but there's always both sides to a coin. I will enjoy myself with the freedom to shop as much as i want i guess. Yet again i am going to miss all my friends, and yea i can't sms and talk already): Gaga perhaps this is a cold turkey treatment to prevent me from exceeding my sms count again. Eeks!